Widows Who Have Learned How to Deal with Grief

        Have you ever seen a widow who was totally paralyzed by grief? I have and have come away wondering what, if anything, I could do to help lessen their pain and brokenness. How do widows live again after suffering such a loss?

       I think back to some widows whose lives are recorded in Scripture. You are familiar with them: Naomi, Ruth, Abigail, Mary, Eunice, Lois, and Anna are some that come to mind. I want us to look more closely at just one of these, as well as a contemporary widow. 

Just about everyone knows the story of Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth. (It’s recorded in the Old Testament book of Ruth.) During a drought in their own country, Naomi’s husband had taken his family into the country of Moab. At some point he died; then, within a short period of time both of her sons died, leaving her a widow in a foreign country with two widowed daughters-in-law. That was an especially tough spot for a widow to be in at that time. She had choices to make. She could have remained in Moab, sent her daughters-in-law foraging for food and
wallowed in her misery. Instead, she chose to make the arduous journey back to Jerusalem and Ruth chose to accompany her. Once there, she was still an embittered and broken woman who could have chosen to remain aloof from old friends and family and die in her misery. What did she have to live for? Yet, she chose to live again, evidenced by her involvement in the life of her beautiful daughter-in-law. She lovingly guided her in the cultural mores of Israel and the ways of God. Naomi could have become jealous of Ruth’s beauty and youth, and demonstrated pettiness by criticizing her. Instead, she did everything she could to help Ruth, and rejoiced with her when she won the heart of a wonderful man, one of her own kinsman. In fact, she played “matchmaker” in their love story. I don’t think it was always easy for her to realize that her life would never be the same, and that love would not come to her again, but she put those thoughts aside and worked for the good of another. And great was her joy when Ruth’s baby was born and she could mother that precious child who grew up to figure in the lineage of our Savior.

       My thoughts are also drawn back to thirty-five years ago when a young widow who, after the funeral of her husband, after the extra food brought into the house was eaten, after the flowers given to honor her husband had died, and after the phone calls of condolence stopped and the last card was delivered, realized she was still grieving with no one to come along side of her. Her pastor, upon learning of her heartache, suggested that she start a ministry to widows like herself. He reasoned that she surely wasn’t the only widow who felt isolation in her grief. Thus Dotti Ackerman, after the death of her husband, Allen, looked beyond her own grief and, with only ten women in attendance at a diner in New Jersey, began Friends Needing Friends.

       Through my association with the many wonderful widows in Friends Needing Friends, I have found that they have learned to thrive after loss by dedicating their lives to causes larger than their grief. These great gals pour their lives into the lives of others: assisting the local directors as greeters at their monthly meetings, assembling newsletters, decorating tables, sending cards to the sick, collecting stuffed bears for shut-ins, making phone calls, collecting food for the food bank, and working in various ministries in their home churches, to name a few. (See pictures below.) These ladies have now taken on an international cause by  “adopting” a group of widows in south India through their monthly support via the Kerusomen Gospel Ministries. Many widows in India are treated as outcasts; even their families desert them. They are motivated by the love and comfort that they have received from Christ and want to share that with fellow widows who have yet to experience the fullness of His grace. 

      

 Psalm 30:5 reminds you that “Weeping may endure for a night,  but joy comes in the morning.” 

 You, too, have had a “night of weeping,” but God will not leave you there. He is a loving heavenly Father who offers you a way through the sorrow and it is by looking beyond your own grief and offering God’s love to another going through sorrow. Joy is on its way because your loving Father has prepared it for you.

                                                                                                

                                                      Message by Shari Hervold                                                                                                                                                                                        

                              Meet our beautiful widows from India that FNF supports. 

 

These are some of our widows from Florida's chapter. 

Pastor Kathy is the pastor of our Florida Chapter of FNF

                                            God Will Make a Way by Don Moen 

                      A perfect song for every widow to play and sing along with the song. 

I don't own any rights to this song. It's for entertainment and worship song only. 

Do you know Jesus? Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit yourself to His righteousness by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong. I am a sinner, forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart. Jesus, be my Lord and Savior. I give you my life.  Amen

Mary Magdalene Who Served with Gratitude

 On April 9 Christians around the world celebrated Easter, the resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus had ministered to thousands in his three years of public ministry, healing untold individuals who had come to him. One of those individuals for whom Jesus had compassion and healed was Mary of Magdala, a town on the northwest shore of the Sea of Galilee. The Scriptures in Luke 8:2 tell us that Jesus had cast out seven demons from her. Being possessed with seven demons probably made her life tortuous at times. She most likely was full of anger, depression, wild mood swings, with an inability to live a full and happy life. And then one day Jesus passed through her small town and in his love and compassion for her, he declared victory over Satan and his control of her and cast out these demons leaving her a clear-eyed, clear-thinking woman who knew that she had been healed by Divinity.

       Jesus’ healing of Mary was a pivotal moment in her life. She was never the same. She donated the rest of her life, along with some other women of means, to following and supporting

Jesus’s public ministry. We are never told what her means of making money was or if she had ever been married. We do know that Magdala was home to a productive dye works and textile industry. Perhaps she was associated with one of these, but we have no record. Regardless, she along with Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward and Susanna as well as many other women are described as having good reputations and providing for the physical needs of Jesus and his disciples. Mary clearly worshipped Christ and dedicated her life to his ministry

      This was an act of courage. Women in those days were expected to keep their heads covered, be seen in public sparingly and do their domestic duties. To follow and support a rabbi wasn’t just unusual, it was scandalous. Yet, Mary courageously listened to the insults and continued to follow Jesus and help provide financially for his ministry.

     I suggest that the overriding motivation for Mary’s great love for Jesus was that she knew she had been forgiven much. She most likely never forgot her days of existing in misery and agony of spirit and mind, with no hope of getting better. Luke 7: 47 says, “But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” Mary knew that she had been forgiven much and she never
looked back. She courageously followed him, even to the cross, when the apostles had fled. She followed Joseph when he took his body to its tomb.

     After observing the Sabbath, Mary and several other women rose early on the third morning to anoint Jesus’ body with oil and spices. Mark 16:30 tells us they were worrying about  how they were going to roll the stone from the front of the burial cave, only to find upon arrival that the stone was gone and

the grave was fully accessible. Their biggest surprise awaited them there when they discovered that it was empty. The Scriptures tell us they were perplexed. That’s putting it mildly. Why would someone want to steal the body of Jesus? It wasn’t long before angels approached them and reminded them of the words of Jesus that he would be killed but would rise again on the third day. When they reflected, they did remember and ran to tell the eleven apostles and ran right into Jesus himself. They fell at his feet to worship him and he charged them to go and tell the apostles.

     The testimony of women didn’t carry weight in those days.  And true to form, the apostles didn’t believe Mary and the other women. St. Luke tells us that Peter ran to the grave to check for himself. Mary is often mentioned as the first missionary to carry the gospel of the resurrection of Jesus. For sure, Jesus threw cultural mandates overboard and entrusted her with the truth of his resurrection and tasked her with delivering the message to his disciples. Her devotion to Christ earned her the highest honor, respect and delegated responsibility from him.

     Mary of Magdala served Christ out of great gratitude for what he had done for her. She

dedicated her whole life to him. For each of you who have accepted Christ as your Savior, you too, need to take stock of your life and dedicate your life to serving him wholeheartedly. Make him Lord of your life here so that you will live eternally with him when this life is over.

                                                                                      Shari Hervold

                                                                              FNF Bible Teacher

Do you know Jesus? Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit yourself to His righteousness by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong. I am a sinner, forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart. Jesus, be my Lord and Savior. I give you my life.  Amen

Wow! Did I have to search for this song to match the above... Just click and enjoy the music by Ann Downing singing " Do You Know My Jesus". 

* O don't own any rights to these songs. It's for entertainment and worship songs only.

                                   

                                           "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin

                                             

Anna Who Persevered

 One of the definitions for persevere in the dictionary is to persist in an undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition or discouragement. In other words, no matter what, you don’t give up until you have reached your goal. In the book of Luke in the New Testament we read about a woman who persevered for many decades. This portion of Scripture tells how Jesus’ earthly parents brought him to the temple to consecrate him to God and offer a sacrifice as prescribed by the Law. Then verse 36 says the few words written about her: The prophet Anna was also there in the temple… In her youth she had been married for seven years but her husband died. And now she was 84 years old. Night and day she served God in the temple by praying and often going without eating. At this time (referring to when Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus were there) Anna came in and praised God. She spoke about the child Jesus to everyone who hoped for Jerusalem to be set free.

            We learn from this small section of Scripture that she spent about 60 years of her life in the temple. Yet, did you know that she wasn’t admitted entrance to the actual temple? That’s because women were forbidden access to that. There was an inner court which was divided into two sections, one of which was the Women’s Court. So, despite being relegated to the court for women, nothing could discourage Anna’s total devotion to and love for God.

            Day after day, Anna joined other women who devoted themselves in continual service to the temple. Here she prayed to God continually for the coming of the Messiah and waited longingly for his appearance day in day out, month in month out, year in year out for over 60 years. And then one day the miracle happened! It started as an ordinary day and then she heard the words of Simeon after he had taken the baby Jesus in his arms saying, “Lord, I am your servant, and now I can die in peace  because you have kept your promise to me. With my own eyes I have seen what you have done to save your people, and foreign nations will also see this,” (vs 28-30).

             Then when Anna saw him in the arms of his parents, she recognized the Christ who was only about 6 weeks old. This was spirit connecting with spirit, ladies. She knew that she was in the presence of the promised Messiah because the God who resided in the child Christ connected with the spirit of God that resided in her. Isn’t that amazing and perhaps the great miracle in this story.

            Anna demonstrated great perseverance in spite of the restrictions placed on her. Ladies, be an Anna! Don’t let anything restrict your devotion to God and what it is He has placed in your heart to do. Not the fact that you are now a widow, no past mistakes, failures or sins, no life situation, and no cultural norms that might make it difficult. I don’t know your individual situations but I want to leave you with some that come to my mind:

• Persevere in relationships which are troubled. Many may think things are always going to be the way they are. That person is never going to change. I encourage you to not give up – persevere in showing love and kindness to them and persevere in praying for God to work in them.
• Persevere in getting that business taken care of which has become a headache and you just want to “throw in the towel.” Perhaps it’s of a legal nature, a medical nature, or a personal goal you’ve set for yourself. It could be a job you want to pursue, or completing an educational goal which you sidelined years ago.
• Persevere in getting over the intense grief of losing your husband. I’m not suggesting that grief is wrong or that you shouldn’t feel sadness. But some of you may be clinging to your grief and aren’t willing to move on by finding new avenues to pursue and interests to develop.
• Persevere through aches and pains that come with aging. There may be some of you who stay inside more than you should and draw back from joining in family, community or church activities. I encourage you to persevere through the general malaise that affects us all as we age and live life to its fullest.

The Scriptures encourage us with the truth that in God’s timing we shall reap what we have sown if we do not give up. So keep persevering and God will honor your faith and your steadfastness!

Bible Message By:  Shari Hervold

P.S. Happy Birthday Shari.  May God bless you on this your special day. 

🎂🎂🎂

Do you know Jesus...Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit - yourself to His righteous by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong: I am a sinner: forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart: Jesus be my Lord and Savior. I give You my life.  Amen

                                       Who You Say I Am by Hillside Worshipers 

      (I don't own any rights to this song. It is for entertainment and worship song only)