FOCUS, Before Making Decisions in the New Year

 

I don’t have to tell a widow that the loss of your husband threw your whole life out of focus.
Initially, you most likely walked around in a daze, in shock and grief. There was so much paperwork to do, agencies to contact, decisions to be made with no partner to aid in all of this. Some of you had help and support from children and some decisions were made prior to his death. Still, you found yourself alone in your grief and maintaining a clear focus was most difficult for you. You may still, at times, find it difficult to do so weeks, months or years later.

While focusing and giving full attention to the ordinary decisions in life is important, it is even more important that you learn to turn your focus toward God before stepping out into the newness of life that God has for you now. Recall with me the story of Esther from the Bible. The Jews were set to be annihilated and Esther, as queen, was asked by her uncle to go to the king and intercede on their behalf. However, there was a law that stated that even the
queen didn’t go into the king’s presence without being summoned and if the king didn’t raise his golden  scepter to her, she would be put to death. Queen Esther informed her Uncle

Mordecai that 30 days had passed since the king had summoned her. Eventually Esther realized that God had her in the kingdom at just this time to intercede for her people, but still she didn’t just march right in. She asked her uncle to gather the Jews in the area to fast and pray for her for three days and she then declared that she and her maids would do the same. (Esther 4) Her entire focus was on God and seeing his guidance and protection. Esther is just one of many in the Bible who, before stepping out into the “unknown,” turned their focus on God and His leading,

As a widow, your life has been totally altered; it will never be the same. You will be getting advice from many sources and most of them well-intentioned. I encourage you to listen well and weigh that advice, but don’t make a move until you turn your focus to God. Why? It is only God who has the whole picture of your life. It is only He who can truly lead you into the path that is best for you. You can be totally secure knowing that He has your best interests at heart. Keep in mind these words, 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take, (Proverbs 3:5-6).

As you pray, you might want to make a list as options come to your mind. Look over your list 

to see if anything on it clearly violates any principles found in God’s Word. Eliminate those as they won’t be in God’s plan for you. You now have a realistic picture of your options to help

you make a responsible, God-honoring decision. If the focus of your heart has been to please God, taking into account Biblical principle along with any wise counsel you may have received, I suggest that you are ready to step out with the full confidence that God will work out His purposes through that decision. God alone knows the decisions you will face in 2023 and I encourage you to keep these guidelines in mind for both small and large decisions.

The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to begin to focus on Jesus and His love for you. We have just come through the Christmas season where we commemorated His birth and all of the miracles surrounding it, but we serve a risen Savior who died for our sins and lives to be a present help in our lives here on earth. 

The new year looms on the horizon, but with your focus on God and His will, you can face it unafraid. Happy New Year to each of you!

Message by Shari Hervold
Friends Needing Friends International Widow Ministry

"Through It All"  by Marshall Hall & Lynda Randle

I don't own any rights to this song. It's for entertainment and worship song only.

Do you know Jesus...Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit - yourself to His righteous by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong: I am a sinner: forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart: Jesus be my Lord and Savior. I give You my life.  Amen

  

                                                                      

Experiencing God's Mercy

 A widow once asked me, “What does God’s mercy include?”. There are many verses in the Scriptures that speak of God’s mercies. The book of Psalms frequently references the mercies of God, often coupled with loving kindness and tender mercies. One verse that is often quoted is found in Lamentations 3:22-23: It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed; His compassions do not fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

        Matthew Henry in his commentary reminds us that one can become so used to grief that she forgets what joy feels like. He goes on to remind us that these verses instill hope in the child of God. Things may be tough in your life right now, but if it wasn’t for God’s mercy, they would be worse, and His compassion will never fail.

  
Think with me on just a few women in the Bible who experienced sorrow, disappointment or testing in their lives and then God’s mercy was manifest. Do you recall Anna the prophetess mentioned in the book of Luke? She had been a widow for many years and had dedicated her life to God’s work in the temple, looking forward to the coming Messiah, but at her advanced age surely not expecting that He would come in her lifetime. And then Jesus’ parents brought him to the temple to present him to the Lord and hope within Anna’s heart sprang to life and God poured out His tender mercies on her and allowed her to hold His son in her arms. All those barren years of widowhood were forgotten with one touch of the baby’s tiny fingers. God’s mercy to Anna took the form of a small baby.

            There’s the Old Testament story of David and Bathsheba, the death of their child conceived out of marriage…and then her son Solomon, conceived after her marriage to David, succeeded his father as king although there were other older sons who could have filled that role. God’s tender and loving mercies poured forth in her life in redemptive and restorative fashion to her grief and shame-scarred soul. Bathsheba’s mercy took the form of a kingly son.

            Then there’s the story of Rizpah whose sons were killed to avenge a broken treaty, but whose bodies were disrespected by being left to rot on the gallows. Rizpah lovingly guarded those bodies until her actions were brought to the attention of King David who had them properly buried in their family plot. For Rizpah, mercy took the form of a proper burial for her sons.

            Do you remember Eunice the mother of Timothy who, along with her mother, instilled in Timothy a deep faith in God? I wonder if her faith was sometimes tested by Timothy whose father, as far as we know, was not a believer in Christ as the Messiah. Perhaps Timothy went through a period where he questioned if Christianity was true. But Eunice continued in her mission to see him place his trust in Jehovah God and in Christ as the Son of God. For Eunice, as for many mothers, mercy took the form of a faith-filled young adult who became a mighty ambassador for Christ.

            Lastly, there’s Mary the mother of Christ whose birth we celebrate this month. She willingly submitted herself to God’s will after the visitation of the angel Gabriel announced to her that she was chosen to be the mother of the Messiah. There were many times, I’m sure during the years of rearing Jesus, that her trust in the angel’s message was tested. She was thought to have been pregnant by Joseph thus staining her reputation, Jesus was rejected by the Jewish religious leaders and suffered greatly at the hands of the Roman government, ultimately suffering an agonizing death
by crucifixion. For Mary, mercy took the form of seeing her son, Jesus Christ, raised to life and the veracity of his claims as divinity verified many times over.

            The one thing that I am sure of is that God’s mercy will take whatever form you need it to. It will include whatever God knows it will take to restore hope, trust and life to your heart. So, as you celebrate Christ’s birth this Christmas season, allow God’s mercies to wash over your spirit and emotions in the form of His peace and comfort. Be like the Apostle Paul and look forward with great anticipation to the joys that are ahead where we will forever experience fellowship with our risen Savior, with tears and sorrow a thing of the past. Merry Christmas to each of you.

Bible message by Shari Hervold

                                                             

 

Take time this holiday to relax and enjoy the many Christmas Carol. 

Merry Christmas from Friends Needing Friends International Widow Ministry!

I don't own any rights to these songs. It's for entertainment and worship songs only.

                                                

The above video is from the Florida "Friends Needing Friends Widow Ministry." We had great fun singing the two songs, "This is the Day that the Lord has Made" and We wish you a Merry Christmas. Two appropriate songs for this time of year and any day is the right day to ask Jesus into your heart. All you have to do is say the prayer below and connect yourself with a good Bible believing church.  

The ABCs of Salvation. 

                                   A-DMIT you're a sinner. 

                                    B-ELIEVE God did something about your sin 

                                                    through Jesus. 

                                    C-OMMIT to trusting Christ and Christ alone 

                                                     for the forgiveness of sin. 

                                    D-O IT TODAY!    

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year! 

The Joy of the Lord Is Your Strength

 The holidays are often the most difficult for a widow. Her sense of loss is keenly felt and she is more aware of her loss than at other times. Perhaps you have found this true in your own experience.

 The 8^th chapter of the book of Nehemiah tells the story of the children of Israel rebuilding the wall around the city of Jerusalem that had been destroyed by their enemies. It was hard, arduous work, made harder by the taunting of the enemy which discouraged the people. Ezra, the priest, read the Word of God to them and they began to weep. As widows you, too, have been brought to sorrow and tears over loss in your life. But, though weeping and sorrowing are necessary, they aren’t the last message that God has for you. God had Nehemiah speak to the people saying, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to the Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Then all the people went away to eat and drink…with great joy.” They were obedient to Nehemiah and as a result their joy was restored.

 Did you notice in that verse that Nehemiah urged the people to send portions of food to those who didn’t have? Invariably, that is the result of those who find their lives beginning to heal. They begin to reach out to others. In fact, I believe that reaching out to others is a catalyst to one’s own healing, something that Dotti Ackerman, founder of Friends Needing Friends, has always emphasized.

 In the 13^th chapter of Nehemiah we see that, after an absence, Nehemiah returned and found that the people had slipped back into some of their ungodly ways and he set out to restore their faith in and obedience to God. I see his return as a sign of God’s grace and restoration. It is no less true for the

widow. You, too, went through a period of great sorrow after the death of your spouse. You felt like your life would never be normal again. All you could see was aloneness and a feeling of being trapped in a life you didn’t like. Gradually, through the help of friends, family, pastors or priests and perhaps counseling, you gradually began to heal and you found that there was some joy in life again. But now as you approach the holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s for Americans, you do so with some apprehension, grief and a flood of memories about the “old days” and your time-honored family traditions which always included your husband. Jesus wants to restore you to wholeness and give you a reason to celebrate again just as He did the Israelites. But, just as they, you must choose to focus on what Christ’s life, death, and resurrection have won for you and that is eternal life. Can you do this without Christ’s strength? No! But here is the paradox: The joy of the Lord is your strength. Choose to rejoice, to look at what you have instead of your losses, and look ahead to eternal life with Christ and even your loved one. 

 There are important ways in which celebrations will not, and cannot, ever be the same again. So, it’s okay to plan for them to be different. Thanksgiving, an American holiday, is celebrated in the month of November. It’s a day set aside for families to come together, set aside differences and be thankful for all the blessings of the past year. While menus may vary, traditionally turkey is the main meat with lots of different side dishes and pumpkin pie is at least one of the desserts. For many people, and certainly Christians, it’s a time to thank God for His great love for them, especially the gift of salvation through His son, Christ Jesus. Others of you in other countries celebrate special holidays with customs and traditions too.

 Be realistic about what you can handle, both physically and emotionally on these special occasions. But do celebrate, for this is God’s will for you and you will marvel at the strength He will provide as His joy floods your heart.

 

Message by Shari Hervold

                                                                                  

                                                   

                                                 

I don't own any rights to these songs above. It's for entertainment and worship song only. 

The ABCs of Salvation. 

                                    A-DMIT you're a sinner. 

                                    B-ELIEVE God did something about your sin 

                                                    through Jesus. 

                                    C-OMMIT to trusting Christ and Christ alone 

                                                     for the forgiveness of sin. 

                                    D-O IT TODAY!    

"Modern Day Naomi"

I have written and spoken about Naomi whose story is recorded in the book of Ruth in the Old Testament, many times. There are so many lessons we can learn from her life. The stories of these women were given to us by God to instruct and help us when our lives face difficulties too.  Today I want to again look at some of the occurrences in the life of Naomi and then introduce you to an incredible widow who lives in India and trace the journeys of each as they traveled the long, hard road to wholeness and productivity.

First, let me refresh your memory of Naomi. She, along with her husband and two sons, went to Moab from Bethlehem in Judah because Judah was experiencing a severe famine and the economic picture looked brighter in the land of Moab. Things were fine for a while; then Naomi’s husband died and a few years later so did both of her sons. Naomi was cast into an abyss of great grief and despair. She was now a widow with no means of support in a foreign country. She heard that things were better in the land of Judah and she made the decision to make the seventy-mile trip back through some very rough and dangerous terrain. Only one of her widowed daughters-in-law made the trip with her. They doubtless endured hot dusty days, cold nights, and would have been easy prey for robbers who hid along the roadways, but God protected them and they arrived safely. Yet circumstances didn’t immediately improve for her. Widows without benefit of an adult son automatically became a member of the lowest rung of society in those days. She was a broken, poverty-stricken, bitter old woman with no hope in sight. What was she to do?

Before I finish Naomi’s story, let me introduce you to a woman by the name of Vimala from the nation of India. Vimala lived the life of a wife and mother until, at the age of 47, she became a widow. She was thrown out of her home by her in-laws who blamed her for their son’s death. Her daughter reluctantly agreed to give her shelter, but this didn’t include food or the necessary medications she needed for her diabetes. In exchange, Vimala had to help support her disabled daughter as well as her two grandchildren. It was at this juncture in her widowhood that she found herself in much the same situation as Naomi. She was uneducated and had no marketable work skills. What was she to do? In her lonely, terrified state of mind, she contemplated suicide as her only way out and these thoughts haunted her day in, day out.

Now, let’s revisit Naomi’s story. When she arrived back at her hometown the Scriptures describe her homecoming like this: When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?” “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. …The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1:19b-21a) God is sovereign over all of life, but it is never His intent to make us bitter; He is always at work to make us better, more like Him.

 Soon Naomi’s bitterness was replaced with hope, and God began to orchestrate changes in her life, first through her daughter-in-law, Ruth, and then through Boaz, a close relative of her deceased husband. After a series of God-orchestrated events, Ruth and Boaz married and economic security was restored to Naomi. Ultimately, joy and fullness reigned in her heart again through the birth of her grandson, Obed, who became an ancestor to Jesus our Messiah.

Vimala, too, was consumed with despair and saw suicide as her only way out. But, God had other plans. God has placed in India a ministry called the Kerusomen Gospel Ministries who, among other things, helps the widows with kindness and love. Anju, who was the director of

the women's ministry, was filled with compassion for Vimala who was an outcast for no other reason than being a widow. Sadly, that is the fate of thousands of India’s widows. They are shunned by a society steeped in superstition that believes they are bad luck.  Vimala’s only way to survive would be to beg or turn to prostitution. God used Kerusomen’s The Well partners to replace thoughts of suicide with hope for her. They now give Vimala a monthly stipend for food and furnish her medical supplies. This guarantees that her daughter will not abandon her. Women from The Well visit her and this brings comfort and joy to her.

            Here we have the story of two widows, separated by centuries of time, but united through the compassion of our loving heavenly Father. You, too, are somewhere on your own journey from the grief and despair of widowhood to wholeness and productivity. 

There are no coincidences with God. With Him as your heavenly Father, you can rely on His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 that says, ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Commit your life into His care and trust Him to bring you safely through the dark times you may be experiencing.

"The God Who Sees" - The original video with Kathie Lee Gifford and Nicole C. Mullen's and the modern oratorio tell the stories of Hagar, Ruth, David, and Mary and the promises God made to them.

I don't own any rights to this video or song. It's for entertainment and worship video or songs only. 

 The ABCs of Salvation. Can you find them? 

                                    A-DMIT you're a sinner. 

                                    B-ELIEVE God did something about your sin 

                                                    through Jesus. 

                                    C-OMMIT to trusting Christ and Christ alone 

                                                     for the forgiveness of sin. 

                                    D-O IT TODAY!    

(ABC's By Tom Papadouplos)