Mission Statement 2015

Friends Needing Friends Mission Statement

Good morning Ladies ~ We are at the start of another new year, and it is a good time to share what this ministry is about.

"Friends Needing Friends" is a special ministry for widows only.

This ministry is a sisterhood of ladies selected by God.  I have been asked the following questions many times - "why widows only?" or "I'm divorced, why can't I come?" I will try to answer these questions as simply as I can.

When you divorce your mate, it is a human decision between two people.  The death of a mate is a decision made by God. The true reason for either loss, only God knows.

As director and founder of "FNF" I have witnessed a special compassionate bond between all the ladies.  When a newly widowed person comes to a meeting for the first time, I will introduce the widow to another widow.  Immediately, there is an expression of compassion that no other person can give nor receive.  Their eyes meet and in a single glance without saying a word, there is an exchange of understanding and full knowledge of their hurts and feelings.  These feelings are the true meaning of the word "sisterhood".

The dictionary's definition of the word "sisterhood" is: "An organization of women with a common interest, as for social, charitable, or females members of a church".

The common interest of "FNF" is from the Bible in 2 Corinthians 1:4 - God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  Our sisterhood of women is doing exactly what God has directed it to do and who better to help at this time - you guessed it - another widow.

Our sisterhood was founded in June 1988 and has physically and financially supported several other charitable organizations.

We have a Teddy Bear ministry where once again we obey God by visiting the sick and the shut-ins. Since 1995, our ladies have delivered hundreds and hundreds of Teddy Bears to the sick and have encouraged the shut-ins with God's love.

The past several months, God has led "FNF" to support a special Christian Foundation in India that supports our widow sisters who are in need of food, shelter and medicine.

As of this month (January 2015), our two ministries (N.J.& FL) have raised $1,000.00. (PTL) As the saying goes: "Side by side, or miles apart...We are sisters, connected by the heart."

Yes, we have met the dictionary’s description of the word "sisterhood" and yes our ladies have obeyed the LORD by sharing the comfort that God has given to us.

May I further explain to you that "FNF" is a ministry available to widows only; that may or may not attend a church.  There is a desperate need in our society today regarding the widows that we come in contact with.  Our group is a Christian Interdenominational ministry and we do not urge joining a different church or changing one's religion.

I hope that you will be able to attend our monthly meeting/luncheon, which is on the third Monday of each month. We look forward to seeing you there and if you can, invite or bring a widowed friend.

Meeting place:

Palm Beach National Golf & Country Club
7500 St. Andrews Rd., Lake Worth, FL. 33467

Time: 10 a.m. - 12 noon

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In June 2013, we celebrated our 25th Anniversary of FNF.

That was also the year God laid upon my heart to leave New Jersey and reside in Boynton Beach, FL to live near my son Daniel and his family.  God also led me to start another ministry  in FL, the same as FNF in New Jersey. It is now the beginning of 2015 and the ministry in Lake Worth, FL has been blessed by God.  Our Bible verses for all of our meetings is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. (NLT)

Happy 2015 ~ Dotti Ackerman

Trust in God

 

Hello Ladies ~ Today I am sharing a little something from my heart. I became a widow 23 months ago yesterday. I’ve come quite a way in this journey so far, as God has been my strength and with God beside me each step of the way, I will make it through to the end when I will see Him face to face. What a time of celebration that will be.

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Widowhood is not something we chose.

It happened.

Our lives changed.

We are on a new journey in this life. I've read that we can look at it as an adventure. During this journey we grieve, we learn to trust God for everything. We grow in His grace and tender mercies. Being a widow is not by chance, or bad luck, it is the will of God and it is a gift. A gift to draw closer to Him.

When I first became a widow I cried out to God (still do) to be my strength. I asked Him to heal my broken heart, even though I did not see how that was possible. Tears came often and sometimes lasted a good while.

I read the Bible, I searched online to find help for Christian widows. I read widow's blogs, web pages, read books for widows.  All were uplifting and encouraging.

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I was deeply touched and encouraged by the writings of Octavius Winslow (1808-1878).

He wrote in "The Godly Widow Confiding in the Widow's God"

In Jeremiah 49:11. "Let thy widows trust in me."

It is well! All that he does, who speaks these touching words, is well.

It is well with you, for he who gave in love, in love has taken away the mercy that he gave. The companion of your youth, the friend of your bosom, the treasure of your heart, the solace of your declining years, is removed, but since God has done it—it is, it must be well.

Look now above the circumstances of your deep and dark sorrow, God has done it; and that very God who has smitten, who has bereaved, and who has removed your all of earthly good, now invites you to trust in him. Chance has not brought you into this state; accident has not bereft you of your treasure; God has made you a widow, that you may confide in the widow’s God.

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There are so many scripture verses to let us know that God loves us and cares for us deeply during this time in our lives. Verses that will draw us to a closer relationship with Him. One of my favorites is found in:

Psa 139:17 

As we dwell on what God says to us in His word, our faith becomes strengthened. As our faith is strengthened then we can be a light to others of His love and mercy. We can encourage other widows on this journey.

The two verses below really touched my heart at my very first Friends Needing Friends meeting. All of the ladies were reading these out loud and it blessed me in my fresh grief. These ladies knew how I was feeling and they comforted me as we visited after the meeting. They told me it would get easier, and it has.  All because of God.

Blessed be God,
even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies,
and the God of all comfort;
Who comforts us in all our tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them
which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves
are comforted of God.

2Co 1:3-4 

Other verses have been a tremendous help to me also:

See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Isa 49:16  

Just think, God has your name written in the palms of his hands. That’s wonderful!

And another is:

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms:
Deu_33:27 

***

In the gift of each new day of this journey, may we all grow in the love that God has for each and everyone of us.

May we grow in the knowledge of His word, so that we will be loving, forgiving and encouraging to one another.

In closing, are some verses about our tears. I still have times of tears, but they don’t last as long, the grief isn’t so raw. God has most definitely been my comfort.

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“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."
Revelation 21:4

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy...
Psalm 126:5

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Remember too, next Monday the 17th is our next meeting/luncheon for our south Florida ladies.

Our guest speaker will be our own Sue Dolbow and she will be speaking on what is our ‘Focus’ in this life.  Pray for her as she speaks.  Pray for the staff and Dotti as we all prepare for our gathering together.

Love, hugs & prayers ~ Rainey

We’ve had over 10,000 visits!!!

 

Good morning dear Ladies ~ Today we have yet again another reason to celebrate. This morning we are thankful to Jesus for the over 10,000 visits we’ve had to this blog.  It is all because of Him that this blog is even here. We have the information that our dear Dotti has to share with widows, and the words of others who are led to share what God lays on their hearts for the widows too. Plus we have the witness of our dear sister widows and how God has not forsaken them but has helped them grow as they walk this journey. We also have  God’s words to us throughout this blog, and music for us to sing to and to make our hearts sing as well.

 

Here are some thoughts from Dotti this morning.

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Our God is an awesome God!

Before I left New Jersey (2011), to go to Florida, I asked God, "What am I going to do with 23 years of information helping the widow from the Friends Needing Friends ministry?" God never answered me, so I just packed as much as I could and moved.

A year ago (2013) I met another widow, Rainey, who came to our meetings and she introduced me to blogging. The excitement welled up inside of me, and I knew it was God answering my prayer.  I was told that once you put information on the blog, it is permanent.  A permanent file from God, with the material to be used that was kept from over the years that many people could see and be helped by.  We started putting this material and changing the information on the blog every 3 to 4 days. I just had so much information to share.

Today the Friends Needing Friends blog has reached a total of over  10,000 visits. This material will stay not only in New Jersey or Florida, but will go to  many other widows in the United States and other countries. Considering the subject of this ministry, only God could do the multiplying and restoration of these widows.

Truly, our God is an awesome God!

Dotti Ackerman

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10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman

 

 

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Congratulations to everyone that has participated in this Blog Spot of Friends Needing Friends.. Thank you and may God bless each and everyone.

 

He Giveth

 

He giveth more grace

when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength

when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercies,

To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed

ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

Annie Johnson Flint (1866-1932) 

 

 

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Humble yourselves therefore

under the mighty hand of God,
 
that he may exalt you in due time;
 
casting all your anxiety upon him,
 
because he careth for you.
 
1Pe 5:6-7 

Today’s Witnessing Widows

 

Good morning Ladies ~ Today we have three more of our sisters telling us about what has helped them in their time of grief.  May we all be encouraged and may we in turn, encourage other widows.

Let us remember what it says in 2 Corinthians 3

God brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

These three ladies are from Florida.

First we have M.D.

She writes that “the food, the visits, the hugs of family and friends brought the love of God close to my heart.”

Blessings at this time were:

Special hugs from people that I barely knew.

Finding God’s peace in my solitude.

***

Next we have S.S.

She writes: “I can get up in the mornings and thank God I can stand and walk.”

God has blessed me over and over again.

Thank you God.

***

Our last testimony today is by E.M.

She writes: “If I feel down – I get on my knees and ask for His help.  He lifts me up – I can always feel His presence.

He brought my friends to me – My lord never leaves me – He is always there for me – Prayer is a great blessing.”

***

Each of these ladies had the same special song that has helped them through their grief, and it is ‘How Great Thou Art’.

I am going to post three different versions of this song. They are all wonderful.  God has touched and blessed many hearts and souls with this wonderful old hymn. It has been performed through the years by many, and still being performed even now.

“How Great Thou Art" is a Christian hymn based on a Swedish poem written by Carl Gustav Boberg (1859-1940) in Sweden in 1885. The melody is a Swedish folk song. It was translated into English by British missionary Stuart K. Hine, who also added two original verses of his own composition.

 

This first rendition will be by George Beverly Shea.

If my memory serves me correctly, I heard him when I was a little girl when we went to this huge gathering in California.

This video is from 1957.

George Beverly Shea

Susan Boyle - How Great Thou Art

How Great Thou Art by World Outreach Worship featuring StikYard

 

Thank you ladies for your encouraging words written from your hearts, and for reminding us all of this wonderful old hymn.

May the words of this song fill our hearts with love and adoration for our Mighty God.

 

Widow’s Witnessing

Good morning Ladies ~ This is a new day, let us rejoice in this gift from God and be a light and witness of His blessings to others.

Today we have four more testimonies from ladies of our NJ sisterhood.

EK-NJ

Grief tip: Believe that God will never leave you or forsake you. He is with you at all times.

One of my favorite songs that comforted me during my grieving time was "How Great Thou Art"

God sent me the love of my family and friends. Also my church family and their friendship.  Faithfulness in Him to see me through the sad and lonely times.

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JB-NJ

Grief Tip: Seek out female friends to help you stay active. Be willing to visit Senior Citizen centers and accept invitations to lunch, a movie, or other activities outside your home. Use any resource available to you. Stay active!

There are several songs that have helped to comfort me during this time. They are "Do Not Pass Me By" and What a Friend We have In Jesus".

A special blessing that happened to me, a friend introduced me to another widow who took me to FNF meetings and encouraged me to not grieve alone. I found strength to take one day at a time. I also found time for Bible study and got closer to my church, and volunteering for more church work.

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LR-NJ

Grief Tip: Exercise even if you only walk.  It really helps relieve the stress.

Blessings from God by meeting new friends from my support group. My new home living with my son. My daughter gave me my new grandson and being able to retire.

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Barb Driscoll BD-NJ

Grief Tip: Keep busy and keep in touch with friends, even if you don't feel like it. Look for joy each day and enjoy loved ones and let them know you do.

A special song to me is Great is Thy Faithfulness and God Is Always So Good.

God's blessings during this time is new friends. Another widow, especially a neighbor, whose husband died six months ago after mine, are now close friends.

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These testimonies touch and bless my heart. We are in this sisterhood together. We know just how each other feels. By sharing out testimonies we encourage and build each other up.

I will close this post with the following scripture verses from the KJV Bible.

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Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify (teach) one another, even as also ye do. 1Th_5:11

Exhort (strongly encourage) one another daily Heb_3:13 

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God’s blessings on each one of you.

You are all precious to Him.

Widows Witnessing Series

 

Good morning dear Ladies,

I hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day weekend. May the rest of your week be lovely too.

Let us remember:

We are all beautiful creations of God and He works in all of our lives differently. He speaks individually to each of us, to our hearts and souls.

Part of our life as a widow is sharing and encouraging others through stories in our own lives as to how God is lovingly caring for us.

Today we have some dear sisters from our NJ group.

 

MK-NJ

Grief Tip: Demonstrate compassion, calmness, inner peace via your presence and tone of voice.  Be a good listener and slow in giving advice.  Identify with feelings expressed minus long stories of personal experience.

During this time of grieving my special song that kept going through my mind was "Jesus, Jesus, There is Something About That Name".

During my time of grieving there was a deeper awareness of God's availability for comfort and peace and my need to be patient.  Life had changed, adjustments were a reality and my faith and trust in God required me to make decisions.  God gave me needed wisdom and lowered my stress and anxiety levels.

***

RB-NJ

Grief Tip: Allow yourself to grieve and trust in the Lord to ease the pain.

The song I love to listen to during this time is "I need Thee, Oh, I need Thee, Every hour I need Thee".

During this time God gave the the ability to go back to work after a week post my husband's funeral.  It was very difficult to care for my patients because it reminded me of my husband's last days in the hospital.  The Lord held me up and sustained me through those tough times.

***

JL-NJ

Seventeen years ago, my life changed, not only as a widow; but, the owner-operator of a farm, fortunately a few years before we had downsized from over 200 acres to 20.

With the Lord's help (prayed a lot) and my son-in-"love" the already planted crops made it through the summer and were harvested successfully. But what would I do next summer?  The fields had to be planted.  I wondered, worried and prayed! That fall, my neighbor stopped in and said he would like to plant my field in hay.  He needed more ground.  The Lord had answered my prayers!  As a hayfield usually lasts 10-12 years, my problem was not only solved, but I wouldn't have to worry about planting again for awhile (right now they are a beautiful green and growing.)

In church, one Sunday that September, I read a notice for an upcoming basic lay speaker class to be held in October.  I thought that's not for me, I can't speak before a group of adults and turned the page.  The rest of the day, my thoughts kept going back to that notice.  I didn't know why, but those thoughts bothered me.  I prayed, Lord, why am I think about that notice?  I can't be a speaker.  I am too old to start over, to go back to school.  It would be a waste of time.  The space is limited. I'd be taking the place of someone much better qualified and younger.

The next morning, as I put on my jacket to go get my paper, that bulletin fell out of my pocket.  It fell to the floor opened to the school application form.  I hadn't even noticed that form before.

I knew then! I had to apply to go to that basic class.  I felt it was a sign from God.  Give it a try.  I went! I liked it! I became a certified lay speaker in the United Methodist Church.

From that first class, the Lord has led me to preach several Mother's Day sermons, preach at Pitman Manor, preach in my own church, to even officiate at a funeral, and to my favorite place - "Friends Needing Friends". God is Good! Just follow Him. He will lead you and guide you on your journey through widowhood.

Joanne has served with Friends Needing Friends Ministry for over 20 years.

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ES-NJ

I have been a widow for 22 years and I now live in N.J. Do you remember after your loss when all the flowers were gone, the cards and company stopped?  You think to yourself, "How will I ever manage?"

Soon I noticed the grass needed cutting and realized another chore to assume...suddenly I heard a lawn mower.  My neighbor (my husband's close pal) simply did it.  That was in 1992 and I have never cut, fertilized or edged since.

Now, my neighbor is stricken with a terminal disease - how gladly I volunteered to help in any way for all his kindness.  Then there is church.  After shortly becoming a widow, I became an usher/greeter at church and have become more active.

Lastly is "Friends Needing Friends”.  Coming in as a middle-aged devastated gal, my association and volunteering as well as the sweet ladies who are each my special angels has shown God's plan for how He touched my life after becoming a widow.

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Thank you ladies for speaking from your hearts.

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I hope you were as blessed by these testimonies as I was. I also was encouraged and inspired to keep trusting Jesus to be my strength through each and every day.

 

Here is a verse to close this series today:

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

I Thessalonians 5:11 NLT

Intro: ~ ‘Real Answers’ by Pastor Bruce Sofia

 

Dear Friends,

Each year I have been invited to speak at our widow’s support group, Friends Needing Friends.  The group has been meeting since June 1988 at Geet’ Diner in Williamstown.  Today they meet every fourth Monday at Wedgwood Country Club.

Friends Needing Friends has extended its ever increasing ministry to another chapter that meets the third Monday at Palm Beach National Golf & Country Club, Lake Worth, Florida.

At one of the “FNF” meetings, the ladies were asked to write a question concerning widowhood and I would answer one question each month that would be published in their monthly newsletters and now in the Friends Needing Friends blog.

www.friendsneedingfriends.blogspot.com

I pray as you read the different answers to the many questions that were presented, God will speak to your heart as He helps you through your time of grieving.

In conclusion, the Scripture is clear. “God defends the cause of the widow,” Deuteronomy 10:18. If you ever find yourself doubting the truth, as “Higher Ground” so beautifully sings, “Just say the name of Jesus!” Yes, there is comfort, healing and strength in the name of Jesus.

Very truly yours in Jesus,

Pastor Bruce Sofia

Founder & Director of

Gloucester County Community Church