Don’t Trust Yourself, There’s a Better Way

By Shari Hervold

Proverbs 3:5-6 admonishes us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” To trust in someone means to have assured reliance on their character, veracity, and strength. Here we are told to trust in the Lord whole-heartedly. Specifically, what does that look like to the widow?
   
Most widows have lost the one earthly individual they trusted enough to share their lives with, expose their emotions to, bear the children of, and to whom they have looked to for carrying out the jobs around the house requiring physical strength. In addition, for those more serious decisions, the widow was part of a team, weighing pros and cons before arriving at a decision. Now she finds herself cast in a solo role where decisions still need to be made, children may still need emotional, if not physical, support, and those jobs requiring physical strength still need to be completed. In addition, not only is the widow now alone, she is often very lonely and dealing with a myriad of emotions, often overcome with tears when she least expects them. While dealing with all of this, she is acutely aware that life must go on and she is the one to maintain control over hers. Often, not wishing to bother others in her life, she slogs along, keeping herself busy to avoid coming to terms with the void in her life…until she realizes that she has been performing empty motions.

 

 
In this scripture God invites you, precious widow, to trust in Him with the entire of your life, withholding nothing from Him. He realizes that you are a frail mortal with only a fragmentary view of your life. Your understanding is limited; His is limitless. We often harbor the misconception that if we understand, then we will have peace about a situation. So what happens when we don’t understand or perhaps even worse, we think we’ve figured something out only to realize we were mistaken? God here lets us know that our peace is contingent on Him and our trust in Him. His thoughts are far above ours. I especially love the line that invites us to acknowledge him in all our ways – yes, even those day-to-day, seemingly inconsequential decisions, hurts, disappointments –give them to God and He will direct you. God knows all about your frailties, your grief, your frustrations, even your anger, so He invites you to trust Him enough to commit your life into His keeping because of His great love for you. He doesn’t shake his finger at you to shame you for your feelings, your failings, your inadequacies and inabilities. His love for you has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. That’s why this scripture is so precious to the widow. He knows that you’ve lost your life’s partner. He understands the turmoil you feel at times, even better than you do, and wants you to trust Him to make your life secure in His love and protection. Verse six gives us the promise that when we trust in God and forsake our efforts to figure out everything for ourselves, then He will direct our paths. He’s a God who is smart enough to figure out anything; nothing confounds Him! If you are experiencing some personal pain or turmoil in your life right now, I encourage you to meditate on the words of this scripture, and rest well tonight knowing that your life is in His hands.

***

Mission Statement 2015

Friends Needing Friends Mission Statement

Good morning Ladies ~ We are at the start of another new year, and it is a good time to share what this ministry is about.

"Friends Needing Friends" is a special ministry for widows only.

This ministry is a sisterhood of ladies selected by God.  I have been asked the following questions many times - "why widows only?" or "I'm divorced, why can't I come?" I will try to answer these questions as simply as I can.

When you divorce your mate, it is a human decision between two people.  The death of a mate is a decision made by God. The true reason for either loss, only God knows.

As director and founder of "FNF" I have witnessed a special compassionate bond between all the ladies.  When a newly widowed person comes to a meeting for the first time, I will introduce the widow to another widow.  Immediately, there is an expression of compassion that no other person can give nor receive.  Their eyes meet and in a single glance without saying a word, there is an exchange of understanding and full knowledge of their hurts and feelings.  These feelings are the true meaning of the word "sisterhood".

The dictionary's definition of the word "sisterhood" is: "An organization of women with a common interest, as for social, charitable, or females members of a church".

The common interest of "FNF" is from the Bible in 2 Corinthians 1:4 - God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  Our sisterhood of women is doing exactly what God has directed it to do and who better to help at this time - you guessed it - another widow.

Our sisterhood was founded in June 1988 and has physically and financially supported several other charitable organizations.

We have a Teddy Bear ministry where once again we obey God by visiting the sick and the shut-ins. Since 1995, our ladies have delivered hundreds and hundreds of Teddy Bears to the sick and have encouraged the shut-ins with God's love.

The past several months, God has led "FNF" to support a special Christian Foundation in India that supports our widow sisters who are in need of food, shelter and medicine.

As of this month (January 2015), our two ministries (N.J.& FL) have raised $1,000.00. (PTL) As the saying goes: "Side by side, or miles apart...We are sisters, connected by the heart."

Yes, we have met the dictionary’s description of the word "sisterhood" and yes our ladies have obeyed the LORD by sharing the comfort that God has given to us.

May I further explain to you that "FNF" is a ministry available to widows only; that may or may not attend a church.  There is a desperate need in our society today regarding the widows that we come in contact with.  Our group is a Christian Interdenominational ministry and we do not urge joining a different church or changing one's religion.

I hope that you will be able to attend our monthly meeting/luncheon, which is on the third Monday of each month. We look forward to seeing you there and if you can, invite or bring a widowed friend.

Meeting place:

Palm Beach National Golf & Country Club
7500 St. Andrews Rd., Lake Worth, FL. 33467

Time: 10 a.m. - 12 noon

~~~~

In June 2013, we celebrated our 25th Anniversary of FNF.

That was also the year God laid upon my heart to leave New Jersey and reside in Boynton Beach, FL to live near my son Daniel and his family.  God also led me to start another ministry  in FL, the same as FNF in New Jersey. It is now the beginning of 2015 and the ministry in Lake Worth, FL has been blessed by God.  Our Bible verses for all of our meetings is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. (NLT)

Happy 2015 ~ Dotti Ackerman

A Christmas message from Pastor Bruce Sofia

 

Hello dear Ladies ~ Today we have a Christmas message from ~ Dr. J. Bruce Sofia
Senior Pastor of Gloucester County Community Church.
(This church has supported FNF since 1988)

 

I recall years ago when we were producing a TV show called "The Other Side", one of the questions posed to those on the street was: "What does Christmas mean to you?" The answers received were varied in nature from, "I'm Jewish but I have no problem with it," to "It's about family and friends," to "I'm an atheist - I think the world would be better without it," to "It's too commercial," to "It's about Jesus."  So, here's a question to ponder: "What would the world be like without Christmas?"

Two words immediately came to my mind - light and life: Jesus the light of the world" Jesus the way, the truth and the life.  What would the world be without Christmas?  I really don't think we would want to know.  I have been to four continents, and where Christianity is absent so is 'light' and 'life'.

Think about it for a moment? The air is filled with a positive and inspirational 'buzz', but those of us who know Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior understand "the way."  The airwaves are filled with His name...Christ-mas.  He is everywhere? The colors. The trees. The decorations. The snow (at least in our part of the country. Sorry Dotti, couldn't resist. LOL!) The music. The carols. The shows. The concerts. The gifts. The parties. The days off.  The spirit of generosity and giving.  And I could go on.  Although they are not the Christ, they speak of Him, and, it is "awesome."

Yes, as the gospel writer Luke put it: "For unto you is born this day a Saviour who is Christ the Lord."  Anyone who has come to know Christ in a redeeming and personal way knows there is nothing that can compare.  Let us rejoice and be glad!

In closing, permit me to take this moment and thank God for His gift to you who are widowed - Dotti, (Founder & Director of FNF in Lake Worth, Florida), Mary Lou (Director of FNF, Turnersville, N.J.) and ALL who assist them throughout the year.  Ladies (and Paul, Mary Lou's hubby), you truly all bring light and life to many.  Thank you!

Have a blessed Holiday Season and a Merry Christmas!

In Jesus,

Love,

Pastor Bruce

 

 

Below is a beautiful rendition of ~

For Unto Us A Child Is Born

Advent Arms of God

 

Dear Ladies ~ Here we are just a little over three weeks away from Christmas.  We have a wonderful message today to bless our hearts and start us out on this special holiday season.

May you feel the love, peace, joy and strength of God surrounding you and flowing through you as you read Pastor Stan’s message and listen to the song, “Wrap Me in Your Arms”.

***

Hello Ladies ~ What a special time of the year as the Advent season begins this first week of December as we both remember and celebrate the coming of Jesus that first Christmas.  I want to share with you a scripture the Lord put on my heart FOR YOU and then pray a special Christmas prayer for all of YOU.

 

 

A Prayer about the   "Advent Arms of God"

"You who bring Good News to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the town of Judah, "here is your God!" See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him.  See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.  He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." Isaiah 40:9-11 [NIV]

 

Gracious Father, Advent is right upon us, this month of December as we remember and celebrate the coming of your own beloved son, the promised Messiah and our gracious Savior, Jesus Christ.  Grant to us that this season will be more than just Christmas carols, and Christmas candy and Christmas cookies and Christmas gifts, although it often includes that.  Surprise us Lord, in some unexpected ways this entire month as we engage in the story of Jesus' birth all over again.

Rescue us from the mundane and the predictable ways we think of Christmas.  Reshape how we feel about Christmas as we are reminded that through Jesus you brought Good News of Great Joy to the whole world, including us.  And we desperately need some Good News right now.  Help us not to be afraid but to be reminded and arrested by this picture Isaiah paints of your amazing "Advent Arms".  This promise of the Messiah carries with it the loving embrace we all need, especially around these holidays.

In Jesus, You come near to us as the sovereign Lord, with your sleeves rolled up as the powerful Ruler of the Universe.  To think that your arm rules over all history, all nations, all kings and all circumstances and that we are literally resting in your everlasting arms.  It's sometimes too much to even think about.

In Jesus we want and need you to come near to us as the most compassionate Shepherd ever, gathering us and carrying us your lambs in your all-powerful arms. The image and hope of You, the Great Shepherd, are staggering.  To be tended to as dumb sheep, to be held so close to your beating heart, to be gently led ~ What more could we possibly long for and need?

And these aren't just metaphors, Father.  Metaphors have no power to save us.  You really are this kind of God, loving, compassionate, meek and mild, yet you come with great power and glory.  This season help us Lord to fall into your "Advent Arms" as we remember that you are a most wonderful, merciful, loving, saving shepherd of our souls, that you are Immanuel, the God who is both FOR us and WITH us this Advent season.

I pray this with Advent wonder and amazement, knowing I'm being held in your "Advent Arms" in the matchless name of Jesus, Amen.

Stan Coleman
Senior Pastor
South Palm Community Church
Lake Worth, FL

South Palm Community Church

 

“Wrap Me In Your Arms” by Freddy Rodriguez

Trust in God

 

Hello Ladies ~ Today I am sharing a little something from my heart. I became a widow 23 months ago yesterday. I’ve come quite a way in this journey so far, as God has been my strength and with God beside me each step of the way, I will make it through to the end when I will see Him face to face. What a time of celebration that will be.

******

Widowhood is not something we chose.

It happened.

Our lives changed.

We are on a new journey in this life. I've read that we can look at it as an adventure. During this journey we grieve, we learn to trust God for everything. We grow in His grace and tender mercies. Being a widow is not by chance, or bad luck, it is the will of God and it is a gift. A gift to draw closer to Him.

When I first became a widow I cried out to God (still do) to be my strength. I asked Him to heal my broken heart, even though I did not see how that was possible. Tears came often and sometimes lasted a good while.

I read the Bible, I searched online to find help for Christian widows. I read widow's blogs, web pages, read books for widows.  All were uplifting and encouraging.

******

I was deeply touched and encouraged by the writings of Octavius Winslow (1808-1878).

He wrote in "The Godly Widow Confiding in the Widow's God"

In Jeremiah 49:11. "Let thy widows trust in me."

It is well! All that he does, who speaks these touching words, is well.

It is well with you, for he who gave in love, in love has taken away the mercy that he gave. The companion of your youth, the friend of your bosom, the treasure of your heart, the solace of your declining years, is removed, but since God has done it—it is, it must be well.

Look now above the circumstances of your deep and dark sorrow, God has done it; and that very God who has smitten, who has bereaved, and who has removed your all of earthly good, now invites you to trust in him. Chance has not brought you into this state; accident has not bereft you of your treasure; God has made you a widow, that you may confide in the widow’s God.

******

There are so many scripture verses to let us know that God loves us and cares for us deeply during this time in our lives. Verses that will draw us to a closer relationship with Him. One of my favorites is found in:

Psa 139:17 

As we dwell on what God says to us in His word, our faith becomes strengthened. As our faith is strengthened then we can be a light to others of His love and mercy. We can encourage other widows on this journey.

The two verses below really touched my heart at my very first Friends Needing Friends meeting. All of the ladies were reading these out loud and it blessed me in my fresh grief. These ladies knew how I was feeling and they comforted me as we visited after the meeting. They told me it would get easier, and it has.  All because of God.

Blessed be God,
even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies,
and the God of all comfort;
Who comforts us in all our tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them
which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves
are comforted of God.

2Co 1:3-4 

Other verses have been a tremendous help to me also:

See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Isa 49:16  

Just think, God has your name written in the palms of his hands. That’s wonderful!

And another is:

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms:
Deu_33:27 

***

In the gift of each new day of this journey, may we all grow in the love that God has for each and everyone of us.

May we grow in the knowledge of His word, so that we will be loving, forgiving and encouraging to one another.

In closing, are some verses about our tears. I still have times of tears, but they don’t last as long, the grief isn’t so raw. God has most definitely been my comfort.

***

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."
Revelation 21:4

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy...
Psalm 126:5

******

Remember too, next Monday the 17th is our next meeting/luncheon for our south Florida ladies.

Our guest speaker will be our own Sue Dolbow and she will be speaking on what is our ‘Focus’ in this life.  Pray for her as she speaks.  Pray for the staff and Dotti as we all prepare for our gathering together.

Love, hugs & prayers ~ Rainey

Four Women that God Chose…Part 3

 

 

Hello Ladies ~ Today we have part 3 in our series. May we all be blessed and encouraged as we read.

 

Four Women That God Chose to be in the Lineage of His Son, Jesus Christ

by Shari Hervold

 

Before we meet Ruth, let me remind you that if your haven't met the two women that were introduced in the first two lessons in this series, you may read about them by clicking on their names, Tamar and Rahab.

 

 

The next woman, Ruth, is greatly admired and loved by all who read her story in the book that bears her name.  She, unlike Tamar and Rahab, did not have a blemish upon her record...except for one thing.  There's always a back story, isn't there?  Ruth was a Moabite and as such, because of a sin the Moabites had committed, according to Deuteronomy 23:3 she "was shut out of the congregation of the Lord." God's Word itself shut her out.  Yet, she, with great courage and strength from God Himself, rejected the gods of the Moabites, traveled to a strange land and culture with Naomi, her mother-in-law, and accepted the Hebrew God.  The trip from Moab to Bethlehem was a long and dangerous one, yet Ruth bravely faced down her fears and made the journey, fully expecting nothing to await her there.  She was an outsider from a heathen country and, as far as she knew, would remain so.  Soon after her arrival she began the hard task of working for food for herself and Naomi.  Ruth 2:12 says that Boaz states this concerning her: "The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge." The one thing Ruth had not reckoned on was God's love and protection for her.  But, because of her love for Him and Naomi, God rewarded her.  God worked out the details so that Ruth went on to marry Boaz, a kinsman of her deceased husband, and bore a son, Obed, who became the grandfather of King David, thus in the lineage of Jesus.  Next, we will meet the last of these four ladies, Bathsheba.

Reflection: If you are reading this blog and have not asked the Jesus of the Bible to become your Lord and Savior, I implore you to do so now.  If you long for a lasting joy in your life, I ask you to trust in Jesus Christ for eternal life made available to you through His death and resurrection.  Jesus Christ himself said that if you come to him, you will become a child of God and joint heir with him in all the wonderful things that God has prepared for those that trust in Him.  It is the best decision you will ever make.

 

We’ve had over 10,000 visits!!!

 

Good morning dear Ladies ~ Today we have yet again another reason to celebrate. This morning we are thankful to Jesus for the over 10,000 visits we’ve had to this blog.  It is all because of Him that this blog is even here. We have the information that our dear Dotti has to share with widows, and the words of others who are led to share what God lays on their hearts for the widows too. Plus we have the witness of our dear sister widows and how God has not forsaken them but has helped them grow as they walk this journey. We also have  God’s words to us throughout this blog, and music for us to sing to and to make our hearts sing as well.

 

Here are some thoughts from Dotti this morning.

***

Our God is an awesome God!

Before I left New Jersey (2011), to go to Florida, I asked God, "What am I going to do with 23 years of information helping the widow from the Friends Needing Friends ministry?" God never answered me, so I just packed as much as I could and moved.

A year ago (2013) I met another widow, Rainey, who came to our meetings and she introduced me to blogging. The excitement welled up inside of me, and I knew it was God answering my prayer.  I was told that once you put information on the blog, it is permanent.  A permanent file from God, with the material to be used that was kept from over the years that many people could see and be helped by.  We started putting this material and changing the information on the blog every 3 to 4 days. I just had so much information to share.

Today the Friends Needing Friends blog has reached a total of over  10,000 visits. This material will stay not only in New Jersey or Florida, but will go to  many other widows in the United States and other countries. Considering the subject of this ministry, only God could do the multiplying and restoration of these widows.

Truly, our God is an awesome God!

Dotti Ackerman

***

10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman

 

 

***

 

 

Congratulations to everyone that has participated in this Blog Spot of Friends Needing Friends.. Thank you and may God bless each and everyone.

 

He Giveth

 

He giveth more grace

when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength

when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercies,

To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed

ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

Annie Johnson Flint (1866-1932) 

 

 

***

Humble yourselves therefore

under the mighty hand of God,
 
that he may exalt you in due time;
 
casting all your anxiety upon him,
 
because he careth for you.
 
1Pe 5:6-7 

Christmas in July ~ Part 2 ~ New Jersey

 

Hello Ladies ~ Here it is the end of July and our sisters in New Jersey had their ‘Christmas in July’ meeting/luncheon yesterday. What a colorful group and they looked like they had a nice time together.

Here are two photos of the ladies taken with teddy bears for their teddy bear ministry. This ministry was started in 1995 and has been a blessing to many through the years since then.

Dotti asked me to post a photo of our FL group too, as both groups are involved in the teddy bear ministry.

Something about teddy bears makes us all smile.  Plus the fact that this ministry is about these bears being a reminder of God’s love for us and all who receive one, gives us reason to rejoice.

This group also has a ministry of giving out a little monthly devotional to their ladies.

They also give out Bibles to new ladies who have come three times to the meetings.

Look at their lovely Christmas dinner. Doesn’t it look scrumptious?

So, there we have it, our  “Christmas in July” meetings are over. We had great times.

As I close this post I ask that we all pray for Mary Lou who is having knee surgery this week.  May her surgery go smoothly and may her recovery be swift.

May you all feel the love of God enfolding you,

May you feel His strength and peace flowing through you as you go about each new day that you are blessed with.

Rainey

Today’s Witnessing Widows

 

Good morning Ladies ~ Today we have three more of our sisters telling us about what has helped them in their time of grief.  May we all be encouraged and may we in turn, encourage other widows.

Let us remember what it says in 2 Corinthians 3

God brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

These three ladies are from Florida.

First we have M.D.

She writes that “the food, the visits, the hugs of family and friends brought the love of God close to my heart.”

Blessings at this time were:

Special hugs from people that I barely knew.

Finding God’s peace in my solitude.

***

Next we have S.S.

She writes: “I can get up in the mornings and thank God I can stand and walk.”

God has blessed me over and over again.

Thank you God.

***

Our last testimony today is by E.M.

She writes: “If I feel down – I get on my knees and ask for His help.  He lifts me up – I can always feel His presence.

He brought my friends to me – My lord never leaves me – He is always there for me – Prayer is a great blessing.”

***

Each of these ladies had the same special song that has helped them through their grief, and it is ‘How Great Thou Art’.

I am going to post three different versions of this song. They are all wonderful.  God has touched and blessed many hearts and souls with this wonderful old hymn. It has been performed through the years by many, and still being performed even now.

“How Great Thou Art" is a Christian hymn based on a Swedish poem written by Carl Gustav Boberg (1859-1940) in Sweden in 1885. The melody is a Swedish folk song. It was translated into English by British missionary Stuart K. Hine, who also added two original verses of his own composition.

 

This first rendition will be by George Beverly Shea.

If my memory serves me correctly, I heard him when I was a little girl when we went to this huge gathering in California.

This video is from 1957.

George Beverly Shea

Susan Boyle - How Great Thou Art

How Great Thou Art by World Outreach Worship featuring StikYard

 

Thank you ladies for your encouraging words written from your hearts, and for reminding us all of this wonderful old hymn.

May the words of this song fill our hearts with love and adoration for our Mighty God.

 

Widow’s Witnessing

Good morning Ladies ~ This is a new day, let us rejoice in this gift from God and be a light and witness of His blessings to others.

Today we have four more testimonies from ladies of our NJ sisterhood.

EK-NJ

Grief tip: Believe that God will never leave you or forsake you. He is with you at all times.

One of my favorite songs that comforted me during my grieving time was "How Great Thou Art"

God sent me the love of my family and friends. Also my church family and their friendship.  Faithfulness in Him to see me through the sad and lonely times.

-------------------------------

JB-NJ

Grief Tip: Seek out female friends to help you stay active. Be willing to visit Senior Citizen centers and accept invitations to lunch, a movie, or other activities outside your home. Use any resource available to you. Stay active!

There are several songs that have helped to comfort me during this time. They are "Do Not Pass Me By" and What a Friend We have In Jesus".

A special blessing that happened to me, a friend introduced me to another widow who took me to FNF meetings and encouraged me to not grieve alone. I found strength to take one day at a time. I also found time for Bible study and got closer to my church, and volunteering for more church work.

-------------------------------

LR-NJ

Grief Tip: Exercise even if you only walk.  It really helps relieve the stress.

Blessings from God by meeting new friends from my support group. My new home living with my son. My daughter gave me my new grandson and being able to retire.

-------------------------------

Barb Driscoll BD-NJ

Grief Tip: Keep busy and keep in touch with friends, even if you don't feel like it. Look for joy each day and enjoy loved ones and let them know you do.

A special song to me is Great is Thy Faithfulness and God Is Always So Good.

God's blessings during this time is new friends. Another widow, especially a neighbor, whose husband died six months ago after mine, are now close friends.

-------------------------------

These testimonies touch and bless my heart. We are in this sisterhood together. We know just how each other feels. By sharing out testimonies we encourage and build each other up.

I will close this post with the following scripture verses from the KJV Bible.

***

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify (teach) one another, even as also ye do. 1Th_5:11

Exhort (strongly encourage) one another daily Heb_3:13 

***

God’s blessings on each one of you.

You are all precious to Him.

Our dear Dotti in a video on you-tube

 

Hello Ladies ~ I first came across this little video soon after my dear husband went to be with Jesus, (9 Dec. 2012).

I hope you enjoy it.  Remember to keep Dotti in your prayers as she continues to lead this ministry for widows, all to the glory and honor of God.

Cling to God

 

Good evening Ladies ~

Here we are at the beginning of a new week.  With each new day may we rejoice and be glad in each one.

Let us cling to God with all of our hearts. He is the author and finisher of our faith and as we study His word and talk to Him throughout our days, we will be drawn ever closer to Him.

The more we study God’s words, the more they will come into our minds and hearts when we need them most.

"Let thy widows trust in me." —Jeremiah 49:11

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He restoreth my soul. Psalm 23

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" Deuteronomy 33:27

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deu_31:6

***

These are just a few of the wonderful and uplifting scriptures from God’s word.

May your hearts and minds feel the peace and strength of Jesus, our Savior, as you think on these verses. Let them seep into your souls.

I will close this with the following verse.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.  Psa_143:8 

Dealing with Tough Times

 

'Real Answers' by Pastor Bruce Sofia'

QUESTION: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DEALING WITH TOUGH TIMES?

No one is immune to tough times.  Scripture is quite clear that everyone even the righteous, will face "tough times."

Psalm 34:19 says, Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

The NIV words it: A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him/her from them all.

Although no one likes tough times - we feel out of control, uncomfortable, the unknown is frightening, and the list goes on - they are necessary to our emotional and spiritual maturity.

Romans 5:3-5 tells us, We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4)perseverance, character; and character, hope. (5) And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

God is concerned about our character more than anything, and tough times develop our character.  In fact, how we respond to the tough times is the key.  Are we pliable enough to allow the Potter to mold us on the wheel of trouble, or do we resist the Potter's shaping?  Do we learn and allow God to make us like Christ, or do we complain?

When Scripture says, "In everything give thanks" that is exactly what God means. (I Thessalonians 5:18) For when we give thanks we acknowledge that God sees a bigger picture than us, and that He will work out all things for our good...even our times of trouble. (Romans 8:28) Remember, the writer of Hebrews tells us to count hardships (tough times) as discipline from the LORD.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his Father? (8) If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:7-8,11

I love the words of Job after he had faced his terrible time of trouble - few if any have faced what Job had to face - My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Job 42:5

When trouble comes your way, may you submit to the hand of God's perfection and say with the patriarch, "I have seen God with my own eyes." Don't look at trouble as a curse; look at it as a blessing soon to be realized. However, do remember this - if you don't give your time of trouble to the LORD and ask for Divine intervention, most likely you won't receive it. So ask. Believe. Anticipate. God cannot fail. 

Pastor Bruce Sofia

Widows Witnessing Series

 

Good morning dear Ladies,

I hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day weekend. May the rest of your week be lovely too.

Let us remember:

We are all beautiful creations of God and He works in all of our lives differently. He speaks individually to each of us, to our hearts and souls.

Part of our life as a widow is sharing and encouraging others through stories in our own lives as to how God is lovingly caring for us.

Today we have some dear sisters from our NJ group.

 

MK-NJ

Grief Tip: Demonstrate compassion, calmness, inner peace via your presence and tone of voice.  Be a good listener and slow in giving advice.  Identify with feelings expressed minus long stories of personal experience.

During this time of grieving my special song that kept going through my mind was "Jesus, Jesus, There is Something About That Name".

During my time of grieving there was a deeper awareness of God's availability for comfort and peace and my need to be patient.  Life had changed, adjustments were a reality and my faith and trust in God required me to make decisions.  God gave me needed wisdom and lowered my stress and anxiety levels.

***

RB-NJ

Grief Tip: Allow yourself to grieve and trust in the Lord to ease the pain.

The song I love to listen to during this time is "I need Thee, Oh, I need Thee, Every hour I need Thee".

During this time God gave the the ability to go back to work after a week post my husband's funeral.  It was very difficult to care for my patients because it reminded me of my husband's last days in the hospital.  The Lord held me up and sustained me through those tough times.

***

JL-NJ

Seventeen years ago, my life changed, not only as a widow; but, the owner-operator of a farm, fortunately a few years before we had downsized from over 200 acres to 20.

With the Lord's help (prayed a lot) and my son-in-"love" the already planted crops made it through the summer and were harvested successfully. But what would I do next summer?  The fields had to be planted.  I wondered, worried and prayed! That fall, my neighbor stopped in and said he would like to plant my field in hay.  He needed more ground.  The Lord had answered my prayers!  As a hayfield usually lasts 10-12 years, my problem was not only solved, but I wouldn't have to worry about planting again for awhile (right now they are a beautiful green and growing.)

In church, one Sunday that September, I read a notice for an upcoming basic lay speaker class to be held in October.  I thought that's not for me, I can't speak before a group of adults and turned the page.  The rest of the day, my thoughts kept going back to that notice.  I didn't know why, but those thoughts bothered me.  I prayed, Lord, why am I think about that notice?  I can't be a speaker.  I am too old to start over, to go back to school.  It would be a waste of time.  The space is limited. I'd be taking the place of someone much better qualified and younger.

The next morning, as I put on my jacket to go get my paper, that bulletin fell out of my pocket.  It fell to the floor opened to the school application form.  I hadn't even noticed that form before.

I knew then! I had to apply to go to that basic class.  I felt it was a sign from God.  Give it a try.  I went! I liked it! I became a certified lay speaker in the United Methodist Church.

From that first class, the Lord has led me to preach several Mother's Day sermons, preach at Pitman Manor, preach in my own church, to even officiate at a funeral, and to my favorite place - "Friends Needing Friends". God is Good! Just follow Him. He will lead you and guide you on your journey through widowhood.

Joanne has served with Friends Needing Friends Ministry for over 20 years.

***

ES-NJ

I have been a widow for 22 years and I now live in N.J. Do you remember after your loss when all the flowers were gone, the cards and company stopped?  You think to yourself, "How will I ever manage?"

Soon I noticed the grass needed cutting and realized another chore to assume...suddenly I heard a lawn mower.  My neighbor (my husband's close pal) simply did it.  That was in 1992 and I have never cut, fertilized or edged since.

Now, my neighbor is stricken with a terminal disease - how gladly I volunteered to help in any way for all his kindness.  Then there is church.  After shortly becoming a widow, I became an usher/greeter at church and have become more active.

Lastly is "Friends Needing Friends”.  Coming in as a middle-aged devastated gal, my association and volunteering as well as the sweet ladies who are each my special angels has shown God's plan for how He touched my life after becoming a widow.

***

Thank you ladies for speaking from your hearts.

***

I hope you were as blessed by these testimonies as I was. I also was encouraged and inspired to keep trusting Jesus to be my strength through each and every day.

 

Here is a verse to close this series today:

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

I Thessalonians 5:11 NLT

April Meeting in New Jersey

 

Hello Ladies ~ I hope you all are able to get out to enjoy spring in all of it’s glory. There are gentle breezes, scents filling the air and birds singing their little hearts out, plus flowers in a rainbow assortment of colors. It’s a wonderful time of year to take in God’s beautiful creation. 

Our dear sisters in New Jersey are more than glad that spring is here, no more freezing, snowy weather, making it easier to get to their meetings.

Here are some photos of our dear lovely, ladies up north. What a nice place they meet in.

Here is a new lady being introduced to the group. Being a widow is ‘not’ something we would ask for, but it is wonderful and a blessing to have  ‘Friends Needing Friends’ to help us through our grief and on through our years.

Our faith grows in the God of all comfort, we are encouraged in many ways, and lasting friendships are made.

Here were the guest speakers for the day, a group from a local Christian school, and what a nice looking group.

***

Today is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. May we walk in faith, trusting in God for all of our needs.

Rainey

HOPE

 

'Real Answers' by Pastor Bruce Sofia'

HOPE

Question: WHERE DOES ONE FIND 'HOPE' AFTER SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS DIED?

There are two kinds of hope, the world's and God's.  When the world speaks of hope they do so in the sense that what they wish for may come true; when God speaks of hope it is a done deal.

Romans 5:5 tells us: And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who he has given us.

So, where does one find hope after someone you love has died?  In the only source that "does not disappoint."  Consider these promises: (There are 157 verses in the NIV Bible that contain the word hope, I am only going to give you five.)

Psalm 25:5 - guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 147:11 - the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Jeremiah 31:17 - so there is hope for your future.

Romans 5:3-5 - ... we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4) perseverance, character; and character, hope. (5) And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

~~~

What is the reality of these promises?  When you put your hope in Him, He will be your guide, He will see that your future is secure and blessed, He will develop your character when you think it is beyond developing, and He will give you a love that will open your eyes to your value in Him and the inheritance you have in Him - not in your husband, or relative, or son or daughter, or anyone else - but in Him.

Your value in life, your contribution to life lies in who you are in  Christ and what you do for Christ, not in identification with a loved one.  It is not wrong to identify with another person, to model or imitate another who brings honor to God, but the reality is "your worth and value, your ‘hope’ is in Christ."  Place your hope in Him in whatever you do; you won't be disappointed.