Fruitfulness Despite Loss

                             

Last month we learned of two individuals from Holy Scripture who suffered great loss and disappointment in their lifetimes yet lived to have influence and fulfillment. Joseph, son of Jacob, was sold by his brothers into Egypt and rose to what was equivalent of prime minister of that country. Tamar was defrauded by two husbands as well as defrauded from marrying a third by her father-in-law. Her desire for children went unmet…until by a strange turn of events, she gave birth to twins, one of whom is mentioned in the lineage of Jesus Christ, the Messiah

 

As promised, this month I want to introduce you to some women, who after suffering the loss of their spouses, have gone on to be productive and utilize the talents and abilities that God gave them.

 

Their grief and heartache did not preclude their being used by

 God to bless other women in similar circumstances.

Diana Clark

Diana has been a member of Friends Needing Friends for many years and has just published her third book of original poems. She has this to say about her widowhood journey:

May16, 2022, was the 22nd anniversary of George’s passing. Grieving the loss of a husband can be a very slow journey and a very rough road, especially in the beginning. It’s two steps forward/three steps back; three steps forward two steps back. And so, it goes. But healing does come, and the road smooths out eventually. Plus, one starts to recognize milestones along the way. In the meantime, I have learned how to live and laugh once again, hopefully in way that pleases my LORD, because without HIM I would not be living a wholesome life. My latest milestone has taken 22 years to achieve. It inspired the following poem.

 The Milestone

                                                    

 His side of the bed...the left;

My side...on the right. 

We'd talk a while to share our day,

Then doze off through the night.  

Maybe in the morning,

I'll turn and he'll be there,

Lying right beside me, 

Without a want or care.

Once again, I'm disappointed. 

There's still an empty spot.

Regardless, I will face each day

Whether I want to-or not.

But this morning, it was different,

No left or right---instead,

My 22-year journey took me

To the middle of the bed. 

(I wonder if I hold the record for that milestone---

almost 23 years to move 18 inches.)

 

  ~Diana E. Clark ©May 2022

Terry is a widow who drives other widows who, without a vehicle, or for medical reasons aren’t able to drive to doctor’s appointments. Think of the great blessing this is to have reliable

transportation to doctor’s appointments if you’re unable to drive yourself.

 

                                                                                                                                                     

Dotti and Pastor Kathy are holding mini-teas for those women who weren’t able to attend Dotti’s retirement tea. They bring the tea, the cookies, along with cups and saucers and pretty napkins and have tea with these ladies. But, they are doing much more than having tea, they are bringing joy and comfort into the life of a widow who might otherwise feel like an outlier because of health problems and the inability to get out.

Ladies, it doesn’t take that much time or money to do something that brings some joy into the life of another widow. All it requires of you is to lay aside your insecurities and hesitations and just look for a need. Look around for other widows or women to whom you can be Christ’s hands extended. Jesus called us to be his ambassadors. (2 Corinthians 5:20) In other words, we are to represent him here on earth. How did Jesus respond to needs in his culture? Recall the many recorded stories of his all-encompassing love for the people he encountered. He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons, went out of his way to share eternal truths with outcasts and sinners, not once shaming them but just calling them to live lives changed by the power of God. He even served dinner to thousands of people on more than one occasion because he felt sorry for them, knowing they were tired and hungry. 

The Scriptures tell us to not neglect to do good and to share what we have… It may be a talent such as Diana or in more practical ways such as Terry, Dotti and Kathy. Only God knows the impact of these acts of kindness to another widow or woman who may otherwise be overlooked. Not only will they be blessed but you will also. Hebrews 13:16 reminds us to “not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

 

Message by Shari Hervold
FNF International Bible Teacher.

Do you know Jesus...Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit - yourself to His righteous by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong: I am a sinner: forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart: Jesus be my Lord and Savior. I give You my life.  Amen

Music by Kim Hill

 I don't own any rights to these songs. 

It's for entertainment and worship songs only. 

                                   "He will take care of you" by the Heritage Singers"

Please remember, God promised to take care of the widow. He loves us dearly and only wants the best for us. God's plan is much better than anything we can imagine. Ladies, speak to Him and tell Him how you feel, seek comfort in His words and presence, and let Him help guide you through this time.   

May we present you with these beautiful yellow roses to give you 

spiritual encouragement, and to remind you God is with you. 

                                                                        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Fruitfulness Through Suffering

  For any of you who aren’t familiar with the story of Joseph in the Bible, let me just summarize it for you. Joseph was the second youngest son of Jacob, born to Rachel the wife he loved deeply. Joseph was special to Jacob and his brothers were jealous of their relationship. So, one day when Joseph went to where they were watching the sheep, they devised a plan to kill him. However, one of the brothers suggested that they sell him to a caravan passing through on its way to Egypt. Once there he was sold to Potiphar, the king’s official in charge of the palace guard. Joseph advanced to the point that he was eventually made Potiphar’s assistant. However, he suffered some severe setbacks after this promotion resulting in time spent in jail. Eventually, he was acquitted and made governor over all of Egypt. (You should read the entire story in Genesis beginning with chapter 37.)  

 

It was shortly after this that Joseph married and he had two sons. He named his second son
Ephraim because God had made him fruitful in the land of his suffering. He recognized that God had been with him through everything, the loneliness and fright in a strange land, being falsely accused of rape resulting in a prison sentence, the loneliness and indignity he suffered in prison and then his restoration. Even though he had been stripped of his family and culture, God made him fruitful, and he was able, with God’s wisdom, help Egypt as well as its neighboring countries survive a severe famine.

 

As I relate this story, I am reminded of another story in the Bible that reminds me that God can take the worst that life can do to an individual and bring her through them to live to be fruitful and bring glory to Him in ways we can’t imagine.

 

Tamar was defrauded by her first two husbands and was left a childless widow by both, in a time when being childless was shameful. She was cheated out of a third husband and left to be a childless widow for the rest of her life, but her heart yearned for a child to hold in her arms. Through some sordid circumstances, she became pregnant by her father-in-law and gave birth to twin boys. Tamar’s joy was complete as she looked into the faces of these two little boys, knowing that the shame of barrenness was forever removed from her life. The incredible part of her story is that she is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus through Perez, one of those twins. Now in most cultures of which I’m aware, legitimacy is very important to be in the lineage of royalty. Think of it, our Lord and Savior, the King of Kings, descended from an illicit relationship. This is a testament to the loving grace of Jesus and his willingness to identify with and rescue sinners like Tamar…and you and me. God can take the greatest disappointments, the deepest pain, even the failures and sins in our lives, and turn them around for good.  

 

Don’t misunderstand the point of these biblical stories. It certainly isn’t to make you think that your life will have a fairytale ending just because life has dealt you some deep blows. No, they’re to remind you that your life isn’t over just because it has been rearranged by the death of your spouse. 

Grief and suffering are not the end point of your life. 

God will bring into your life opportunities to serve Him through serving others. Remember, Joseph named his second son Ephraim because God had made him fruitful in the land of his suffering. God will do the same for you. Out of your greatest sorrow, God can bring your greatest joy as you do His bidding, always looking for opportunities to serve others. 

 Next month we’ll look at some biblical as well as contemporary

 widows whose lives are fruitful in widowhood.

FNF Bible Teacher - Shari Hervold

 Do you know Jesus...Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit - yourself to His righteous by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong: I am a sinner: forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart: Jesus be my Lord and Savior. I give You my life.  Amen

Music by Kim Hill

 I don't own any rights to this song. It's for entertainment and worship song only. 

 

 

 

Going From an Inward to an Outward Outlook

  There’s a blog on facebook called The Pastor’s Widow, obviously written by a pastor’s widow. In this blog she shares from her personal journal as she travels the road back to wholeness after losing the love of her life. In one of her blogs, I was impressed with her honesty when she stated that she was simply sharing from her private journal to family and friends and had no intent to write a blog even after her daughter suggested that she do so. When she hedged about what she would write, her grief therapist asked what she would need to hear if she were reading a blog. Her answer startled me. She stated that she probably wouldn’t read her own blog. Why? “Because I would rather follow someone who is on the other side of the valley of grief than someone trudging through the trenches with me,” she stated.

             But that wasn’t the end of it. Through circumstances and the nudges of the Holy Spirit, she began to realize that she had a story to tell in the middle of her grief. In her own words she stated that, “I didn’t recognize that my brokenness could help someone else find wholeness. I didn’t realize that hurting in community can lead everyone to healing.”

 

            Reading her blog in its entirety made me think of this ministry, Friends Needing Friends. Its founder, Dotti Ackerman, began this ministry shortly after the loss of her first husband, Allen Israel, to connect with others in her position. She was lonely, reeling from deep loss, fearful of rearing a teen-age son to maturity on her own, and feeling isolated from anyone who truly understood her feelings. Her pastor suggested that she start a ministry to other widows. And that’s exactly what she did. She lay aside any fears or apprehensions and secured a back room at a local diner in New Jersey, put some fliers out inviting widows to dinner and an evening with other widows with special music and a guest speaker. Together they would work for healing and restoration through being ministered to each month from God’s Word and developing a forward-looking attitude toward life, even in the throes of grief.  I remember when Dotti’s second husband, Bill, died of cancer. Dotti missed only one Friends Needing Friends meeting and then was right back, encouraging and ministering to others. 

What if Dotti had waited until her life was back on keel, and those first pangs of searing grief were totally healed after Al’s death to do ministry to other widows? Most likely Friends Needing Friends would never have been born and the many hundreds of women that have been helped to a personal relationship with Jesus and/or comradery and encouragement in the middle of their grief would never have taken place. 

And now, after 35 years, she has felt that it is time that she take a much deserved retirement. She, more than anyone I know has demonstrated that grief and suffering are not the end point of one’s life. Just as Joseph in the Old Testament, God made her fruitful in the land of the suffering. Out of her greatest sorrows, God has brought her great joy as she did His bidding, always looking for opportunities to serve others. 

Thank you, Dotti, for your thirty-five years of tireless service to the many women, world-wide, who have been encouraged and helped to recognize God’s great love and compassion for the widow through this ministry.  

God will continue to use you to be an encourager, a giver, a helper in any capacity you’re able as you live out your life to bring honor and glory to Jesus. I love you, friend.

             Ladies, doing for others seems to be the “magic” cure for a grieving soul. Most likely because it helps to take one’s mind from an inward look and gives an outward look as well as an onward look. In other words, you don’t dwell on your own grief, but look to alleviate someone else’s and as you do so you will find a purpose for continuing. As you ask Jesus to be a part of your healing, you will find that He never left you and is giving you a purposeful life here as well as an eternal home after this life is over.

 

Bible message by Shari Hervold

            Be encouraged and believe the promise of God when He said, “I know the plans I have for you,” declare the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,” Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV). I encourage you to seek Jesus as He is the only one who can truly turn your sorrow into joy and give you life abundantly.

 

            I also want to wish a most joyous 35^th Anniversary Greeting to Friends Needing Friends! You have ministered to countless widows in your 35 years. Only eternity will show the total fruit of this God-directed ministry. I am grateful to have been a small part of it for 34 years.

 

Kerusomen owes an enormous debt of gratitude to Dotti Ackerman and the ladies of Friends Needing Friends Widow Ministry in Florida and New Jersey. It was Dotti and her team who first championed KGM's widows in India 12 years ago. Since then, FNF has partnered faithfully to expand that ministry year after year after year. They've provided emergency food, medicine, skills training, income producing goats and chickens and Bible Story Scarves to at-risk India widows. But most of all they've sent their love and their prayers to these precious women every single day.

Happy 35th Anniversary Friends Needing Friends! Your amazing ministry to widows here, in India, and all around the globe through your wonderful FNF Blog, has touched the lives of countless widows for God's glory for decades. We are greatly honored to serve with you and play a small part in your ministry. We love each and every one of you dearly and can never, ever thank you enough.

God bless you. Tom Caprio and the KGM Board.

I don't own any rights to this song. It's for entertainment and worship song only.

Widows Who Have Learned How to Deal with Grief

        Have you ever seen a widow who was totally paralyzed by grief? I have and have come away wondering what, if anything, I could do to help lessen their pain and brokenness. How do widows live again after suffering such a loss?

       I think back to some widows whose lives are recorded in Scripture. You are familiar with them: Naomi, Ruth, Abigail, Mary, Eunice, Lois, and Anna are some that come to mind. I want us to look more closely at just one of these, as well as a contemporary widow. 

Just about everyone knows the story of Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth. (It’s recorded in the Old Testament book of Ruth.) During a drought in their own country, Naomi’s husband had taken his family into the country of Moab. At some point he died; then, within a short period of time both of her sons died, leaving her a widow in a foreign country with two widowed daughters-in-law. That was an especially tough spot for a widow to be in at that time. She had choices to make. She could have remained in Moab, sent her daughters-in-law foraging for food and
wallowed in her misery. Instead, she chose to make the arduous journey back to Jerusalem and Ruth chose to accompany her. Once there, she was still an embittered and broken woman who could have chosen to remain aloof from old friends and family and die in her misery. What did she have to live for? Yet, she chose to live again, evidenced by her involvement in the life of her beautiful daughter-in-law. She lovingly guided her in the cultural mores of Israel and the ways of God. Naomi could have become jealous of Ruth’s beauty and youth, and demonstrated pettiness by criticizing her. Instead, she did everything she could to help Ruth, and rejoiced with her when she won the heart of a wonderful man, one of her own kinsman. In fact, she played “matchmaker” in their love story. I don’t think it was always easy for her to realize that her life would never be the same, and that love would not come to her again, but she put those thoughts aside and worked for the good of another. And great was her joy when Ruth’s baby was born and she could mother that precious child who grew up to figure in the lineage of our Savior.

       My thoughts are also drawn back to thirty-five years ago when a young widow who, after the funeral of her husband, after the extra food brought into the house was eaten, after the flowers given to honor her husband had died, and after the phone calls of condolence stopped and the last card was delivered, realized she was still grieving with no one to come along side of her. Her pastor, upon learning of her heartache, suggested that she start a ministry to widows like herself. He reasoned that she surely wasn’t the only widow who felt isolation in her grief. Thus Dotti Ackerman, after the death of her husband, Allen, looked beyond her own grief and, with only ten women in attendance at a diner in New Jersey, began Friends Needing Friends.

       Through my association with the many wonderful widows in Friends Needing Friends, I have found that they have learned to thrive after loss by dedicating their lives to causes larger than their grief. These great gals pour their lives into the lives of others: assisting the local directors as greeters at their monthly meetings, assembling newsletters, decorating tables, sending cards to the sick, collecting stuffed bears for shut-ins, making phone calls, collecting food for the food bank, and working in various ministries in their home churches, to name a few. (See pictures below.) These ladies have now taken on an international cause by  “adopting” a group of widows in south India through their monthly support via the Kerusomen Gospel Ministries. Many widows in India are treated as outcasts; even their families desert them. They are motivated by the love and comfort that they have received from Christ and want to share that with fellow widows who have yet to experience the fullness of His grace. 

      

 Psalm 30:5 reminds you that “Weeping may endure for a night,  but joy comes in the morning.” 

 You, too, have had a “night of weeping,” but God will not leave you there. He is a loving heavenly Father who offers you a way through the sorrow and it is by looking beyond your own grief and offering God’s love to another going through sorrow. Joy is on its way because your loving Father has prepared it for you.

                                                                                                

                                                      Message by Shari Hervold                                                                                                                                                                                        

                              Meet our beautiful widows from India that FNF supports. 

 

These are some of our widows from Florida's chapter. 

Pastor Kathy is the pastor of our Florida Chapter of FNF

                                            God Will Make a Way by Don Moen 

                      A perfect song for every widow to play and sing along with the song. 

I don't own any rights to this song. It's for entertainment and worship song only. 

Do you know Jesus? Here's how:

Admit your sins have separated you from God (Psalm 14:1-3: Rom 3:23)

Believe that God did something about your sins through Jesus Christ. (The final Pascal Lamb/Messiah) (Lev. 17:10: Heb 9:19-22.)

Commit yourself to His righteousness by confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior. (Isa 53:5: Col. 1:22) and do it today! (Isa 49:8: 2 Cor 6:2)

Father in Heaven, I'm sorry for the things I've done that are wrong. I am a sinner, forgive me. Thank you for loving me and sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for my sin. Holy Spirit, come into my heart. Jesus, be my Lord and Savior. I give you my life.  Amen