Here are some of the lovely ladies of our FNF ‘sisterhood’ in New Jersey.
Real Answers to Life’s Questions
This month’s question comes in the form of a question that is often posed to the widow while she is still seeing to get beyond the death of her husband: IT HAS BEEN 9 MONTHS SINCE YOUR HUSBAND DIED. DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE OVER IT?
I would answer the proposed question with a question, “Why should I get over it?” As we search the Scriptures, where do we ever see a person “getting over” the death of someone who had impacted his/her life? The fact that we still remember the patriarchs tell us that we never get over the death of one who has been a part of our lives. The fact that we still quote Moses, Naomi and Ruth (both widows), David, Solomon, Isaiah, Priscilla, and the list goes on, tells us “the dead still speak.” If the dead still speak then we have not gotten over them. And we shouldn’t.
To “get over” memories that have been a part of our lives for years is an impossibility. We must always remember. However, while cherishing the old memories we must also add new memories. To not add new memories is to stand still, and God has not called us to stand still. He has called us to daily serve Him and others. The command is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength.’ (31) The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-34
Jesus taught us to pray, “Thy kingdom come Thy will be done in/on earth as it is in Heaven.” How does His kingdom come to earth? Through us – you and me. That means we remember the past yet at the same time are adding a “new past” because each new day as He “gives us the daily bread,” we serve Him. When we serve Him our service should add remembrances that will remain with us forever. These remembrances should not paralyze us but give us a fresh motivation to go on.
Trust these words of the wise old preacher: “The memory of the righteous will be a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.” If the memories are pleasant, never get over them; just remember to add new ones. This way your past will be as fresh as the present.
---
The above was written by Dotti’s pastor of 27 years from up north. Rev. Dr. J. Bruce Sofia
P.S. ~ Dotti just emailed me this piece and it came at a good time for me as I just had a big crying meltdown, missing my husband so much. I just love how God sends things to us right when we need them. Our God is an awesome God.
Rainey
Good morning Ladies,
It was so good to see all of you this past Monday. We had a good time and it was so good and we were so thankful to have Dotti with us and that she is doing well from her surgery. Continue to keep her in your prayers as she recuperates.
It was nice to meet her friend Kathy who came to take care of her and get to know her a little bit.
April it was good to see you and have your assistance with the music. Glad you are doing well from your surgery too.
Thank you to all of our staff who make the meetings work smoothly.
I want to apologize for not having any photos of the meeting this time. I already apologized to Dotti. I was in a ‘widow’s fog’ for a few days and Monday was one of those days. I know you all know what I am talking about as you have been through it yourselves. Becoming a widow is still pretty fresh to me, since losing my dear husband in Dec. and some days are better than others. The 4 photos I did take didn’t come out good.
Next month our meeting will be right before Thanksgiving and we’ve got some things lined up that are going to be good. We’re going to have fun, we’re going to learn and be encouraged and we’re going to grow in God’s tender love, grace and mercies.
I hope you are all doing well. Hope you are writing things in your ‘thankful’ journal every day. When we are thankful, even for the smallest thing, we are praising God and our spirits are lifted. Even when we don’t feel thankful, we can thank Him for the life He has blessed us with, as it is a gift and He has created us to be His friends. As widows, He also has become our husbands and is lovingly & tenderly taking care of us. He knows our needs better than anyone.
The ‘prayer list’ is a great idea and we hope you are taking this to heart and praying for each other. If any of you have prayer requests, feel free to let us know.
A few days ago I came across a beautiful song that has been running through my heart and mind since hearing it. It is called ‘Beautiful Things’. Below are the words and also a you-tube video of the song.
"Beautiful Things"
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Our God has done so much for us, let us be thankful to Him each and every day. He takes all of our pain and misery and turns it into something good and beautiful. We learn and grow and become stronger. Remember, He is our strength when we are weak.
I did work out in my gardens and on some projects here this week and the ‘fog’ lifted. God’s love and peace are surrounding me and surrounds each of you too.
May you all have a good day today, enjoying the beauty and blessings given to each of you.
Love and hugs ~ Rainey
Good Monday afternoon dear Ladies,
This is just a reminder that a week from today is our next meeting/luncheon. I am looking forward to seeing all of you again.
Pastor Dave Luster will be our speaker this month. Pray for him as he prepares to speak to us, and may we all be blessed and encouraged by his words.
Don’t forget to bring your Bibles, your Bible quiz, hopefully a widow who has not been before, and your smiles and hugs.
Thank you for your prayers for our dear Dotti. She’s resting and recuperating. Let us continue to pray for her as she regains strength and health with each new day.
Remember to pray for each other also.
Love and hugs and God’s blessings for each one of you.
Rainey
******
Blessed be God,
even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Father of mercies,
and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them
which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves
are comforted of God.
2Co 1:3-4
"In nothing be anxious" (Phil. 4:6).
No anxiety ought to be found in a believer. Great, many and varied may be our trials, our afflictions, our difficulties, and yet there should be no anxiety under any circumstances, because we have a Father in Heaven who is almighty, who loves His children as He loves His only-begotten Son, and whose very joy and delight it is to succor and help them at all times and under all circumstances. We should attend to the Word, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."
"In everything," that is not merely when the house is on fire, not merely when the beloved wife and children are on the brink of the grime, but in the smallest matters of life, bring everything before God, the little things, the very little things, what the world calls trifling things -- everything -- living in holy communion with our Heavenly Father, arid with our precious Lord Jesus all day long. And when we awake at night, by a kind of spiritual instinct again turning to Him, and speaking to Him, bringing our various little matters before Him in the sleepless night, the difficulties in connection with the family, our trade, our profession. Whatever tries us in any way, speak to the Lord about it.
"By prayer and supplication," taking the place of beggars, with earnestness, with perseverance, going on and waiting, waiting, waiting on God.
"With thanksgiving." We should at all times lay a good foundation with thanksgiving. If everything else were wanting, this is always present, that He has saved us from hell. Then, that He has given us His Holy Word -- His Son, His choicest gift -- and the Holy Spirit. Therefore we have abundant reason for thanksgiving. O let us aim at this!
"And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." And this is so great a blessing, so real a blessing, so precious a blessing, that it must be known experimentally to be entered into, for it passeth understanding. O let us lay these things to heart, and the result will be, if we habitually walk in this spirit, we shall far more abundantly glorify God, than as yet we have done. --George Mueller, in Life of Trust.
***
Twice or thrice a day, look to see if your heart is not disquieted about something; and if you find that it is, take care forthwith to restore it to calm.
Francis De Sales
************
The above piece is from ‘Streams in the Desert’ a daily devotional I get in my email. These devotionals are written by Lettie Burd Cowman (March 3, 1870 – April 17, 1960). She was an American writer and author. You can read more about her here.
***
May we all remember to take everything to God in prayer.
Love ~ Rainey
There are health benefits of tears.
As a relatively new widow, I’ve shed quite a few tears in the past 10 months, since my dear husband of 43 years went to his heavenly home.
I remember my first meeting at FNF and I cried a lot, as it was only about 3 months then, and the ladies were all so kind and they said my loss was still so raw, but things would get better. They knew, because they had walked in my shoes already.
The tears aren’t as many now, but they can still happen at any time, the grief just washes over me and I can’t help it, no matter where I am. I just let the tears flow and move along. I’ve talked with other widows in person and online who have been a widow much longer than I and they still have times of tears. We can’t help it, we loved deeply and feel our loss tremendously.
Jesus has been my strength, lifting me up when I feel weak, filling me with his love and peace, soothing my broken heart. I feel his peace and joy each and every day and am thankful. This world is not my home, I’m just passing through.
Recently I found an article on the ‘Health Benefit of Tears’. You can click on the link to read the whole article. I will just share some of the benefits here with you.
****************
by Judith Orloff MD
For over twenty years as physician, I’ve witnessed, time and again, the healing power of tears. Tears are your body’s release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, and frustration.
Also, you can have tears of joy, say when a child is born or tears of relief when a difficulty has passed.
Our bodies produce three kinds of tears: reflex, continuous, and emotional. Each kind has different healing roles.
Emotional tears have special health benefits. They contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. These tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones.”
Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart.
Thank God our bodies have this capacity. Let your tears flow to purify stress and negativity.
*****************
These days, besides tears for my loss, I cry tears of thankfulness to God for his many blessings in my life, for the way he shows me things I need to know, for the ways he works things out in my life. I am a daughter of the King. I am part of a special ‘Sisterhood’ and as God Almighty, he understands what each of us is going through.
Trust in Him with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.
Shed those tears and be released and relieved, be healed.
******************
Below is a wonderful Psalm, may it bless your heart.
***
I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.
Because he hath inclined his ear unto me,
therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
The sorrows of death compassed me,
and the pains of hell gat hold upon me:
I found trouble and sorrow.
Then called I upon the name of the LORD;
O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
yea, our God is merciful.
The LORD preserveth the simple:
I was brought low, and he helped me.
Return unto thy rest, O my soul;
for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.
For thou hast delivered my soul from death,
mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
Psalms 116:1-9
***
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
Psa_126:5
He will swallow up death in victory;
and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears
from off all faces
Isa_25:8
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;
and there shall be no more death,
neither sorrow,
nor crying,
neither shall there be any more pain:
Rev_21:4
Good morning dear Ladies,
Just a note to let you know our dear Dotti is home recuperating from her surgery. Continue to keep her in your prayers. She has a dear friend from up north down taking care of her for a month so that is a blessing and a wonderful kindness.
**********
Dear Jesus ~ Thank you for bringing Dotti through surgery. Now that she’s home, may her recovery be smooth and she be back to feeling good again soon.
Be with her dear friend as she takes care of Dotti.
In your name Jesus, Amen.
******