Part II, 29th Anniversary of Friends Needing Friends

Once again, it’s time to celebrate. WOW!  Do we serve such an awesome God.  He tells us time and time again in the Bible to celebrate, unwind, relax, and enjoy yourself. If you seriously think about it, it’s His way of restoring our mind and bodies after completing a task and to preparing us to get ready for another. 

Friends Needing Friends is celebrating their 29^th Anniversary of this ministry. Twenty-ninth years ago God called me into the ministry of helping the widows and to create a sisterhood for widows only.  To read all about how the ministry was started – click above to “Our Founder & Mission”.

We started our celebration on Monday, June 12th with a meeting in Turnersville, New Jersey.  Pastor Bruce Sofia was their guest speaker and Mary Lou Tweed as the director of FNF in N.J. Pastor Bruce was my pastor for over twenty-five years and encouraged me to start this widow ministry. 

  

We have many times related to you that FNF is a sisterhood. A sisterhood that is always ready to help each other, as our Bible verse states in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.

Now get comfortable and get ready to receive a special blessing. FNF has a wonderful photographer Diana Clark who took many pictures of the great time they all had in the New Jersey’s FNF’s 29^th Anniversary Party.

  

A beautiful celebratory cake for FNF 29 years!

 

At each meeting, the ladies sing a beautiful song, “Loving God, Loving Each Other”. The chorus is as follows:

Loving God, loving each other,

Making music with my friends;

Loving God, loving each other,

And the music never ends..

 LOVING GOD, LOVING EACH OTHER------

MAKING MUSIC WITH MY FRIENDS..... 

Our first meeting of FNF met June 28th at a little restaurant in Williamstown, NJ with ten ladies, including myself. Eight of the ladies have gone home to glory and the last two ladies are remaining and still serving the Lord. God bless you, Ruth! Thank you, Mary Lou, for honoring this special lady. 

It truly blesses my heart to see all the ladies meeting each month at the country house, in Turnersville, N.J. 

 Loving God, loving each other,

And the music never ends. 

Get ready now to see the wonderful ladies that attended the 29th Anniversary of Friends Needing Friends at our Turnersville, N.J. meeting.  

Loving God, Loving Each Other...Gaither Trio

A favorite song that is sung by the ladies at many of their meetings. 

Monday, June 19th, Friends Needing Friends' chapter met at the Son Life Lutheran Community Church in Boynton Beach, Florida, to celebrate our 29th Anniversary.

This map of the world has a red tack to show us the many countries that are FNF blog is being shown. Over 17 countries our blog is being read. We have close to 35,000 hits.

The only male in the picture is our new pastor. Pastor Jordan Davis.

Pastor Jordan Davis

Kristine is our wonderful photographer of the Florida Chapter.

Thank you, God for the 29 years of your protection, love, and provision for the widow. Thank you for all the ladies that have served in both FNF ministries and in India. We thank you for our churches that have sponsored this special ministry. We thank you for our FNF blog that has reached our country and internationally. We thank you for everyone that has participated in our FNF blog. Only you could reach out to the world and help these widows. You are truly an awesome God. 

I love you God, your servant,

Dotti Ackerman

Founder and Director of FNF

Thank you, Lord by Don Moen

Happy 29th Anniversary, Friends Needing Friends

Anniversaries are celebratory occasions whether they're for weddings, birthdays, or organizational milestones. Well, a very special organization, Friends Needing Friends, is celebrating its 29th anniversary on June 28th. Friends Needing Friends is an organization that allows widows from many walks of life, of differing ages and economic stations, as well as different church preferences, to come together once a month to fellowship, enjoy a luncheon, gain insight from God's Word, give each other support and friendship and have fun while doing it. Is there a scriptural precedent for singling widows out from the rest of womanhood? I think so.

God knew that widows were in need of support and created a specific category for them, spoken of often in the scriptures. Sadly enough, the loss of a husband in ancient Israel was normally a social and economic tragedy. That is less true today, but isn't always the case. Since many widows were in an extremely vulnerable economic position, they were the prime targets of exploitation. God knew this and He said of Himself that He was not only the father to the orphan, but the legal defender of the widow (Psalm 68:6).  Widows were prominent in the New Testament. You don't think it was simply by chance that Anna, a widow who lived in the temple, was the first to greet our Messiah, Jesus Christ. And Jesus, himself, protested the exploitation of widows (Mark 12:40). In fact, the early church defined the essence of true religion as demonstrating compassion to the poor and needy, and mentions the orphans and widows in particular. Widows have the eye and heart of God Himself. 

As I was reflecting on the widows mentioned in the Old Testament, my mind was drawn
immediately to a familiar one whom we know as the Widow of Zaraphath (I Kings 17: 1-16). You recall that there was a great famine in Israel, which extended across its borders. In the land of Zaraphath there was a widow with a young son whose food had run out and they were both on the brink of death. Zarapath was a Gentile, Baal-worshipping place. Yet, God, because of His great love and compassion for all people, sent the prophet Elijah to her. And he not only became the conduit God used to keep her alive,
he became her support group. He provided for her daily food and fellowship as well as becoming a male role model for her son during this crucial period in her life. While people were in dire straits and dying all around, God singled out this widow and met all of her needs.

A New Testament widow who comes to my mind is the widow of Nain. We have no given name for her, but she is identified as a widow. (Luke 7:11-19) When Jesus came to the city gate of Nain, he saw the funeral procession and the immense grief of the mother over the death of her only son. No one called out to Jesus to raise him from the dead, but Jesus walked over to her and admonished her not to weep. Then he walked over to the bier and took the young boy's hand and told him to get up...and he did. Now, not only did Jesus raise a young boy to life, but also he literally changed the way of life for the widowed mother. Without a son, she had no rights to her husband's property and she could easily be reduced to a social outcast in the community. Having sons was as important as having a husband in those days- and especially important for a widow. Jesus' compassion for her was such that He gave her back, not only her son, but her dignity and standing in the community. He is concerned with every detail of our lives.

While laws regarding women's rights have radically changed since biblical days, the broken heart, the grieved spirit, the loneliness and total rearrangement of one's life is still a part of a widow's lot Being a widow changes the way everyone views her as well. The of quoted epigram of Alphonse Karr, "The more things change, the more they remain the same," is true for widowhood. Widows are still vulnerable to unscrupulous business proprietors, less-than-good-intentioned men, not to mention jealous and suspicious wives. They have to learn a new identity and are often excluded from social events because they are no longer a part of a "couple." Many times their monthly incomes are lessened with their husband's deaths and forced frugality becomes a way of life.

This is where Friends Needing Friends plays an important role in the life of a widow.  Besides providing opportunities for friendship and fellowship, it does so with other widows, those who are best qualified to understand and provide strength and support for the journey. In addition, experts in various fields are brought in to speak with the widows to help them be aware of scams and unscrupulous practices. While Jesus condemned the perpetrators of such heinous behavior in his day, the widow herself had little recourse as she had such few rights.  God is using Friends Needing Friends to be His hands extended to widows, assuring them that they have fellow travelers on their new journey and their shared experiences become bridges to achieving their full potential as daughters of the King. 

It should become as no surprise to learn that a widow established Friends Needing Friends.  Dotti Ackerman was still experiencing the immense pain of loss when she started this organization two years after the death of her husband Allen Israel. There were ten women present for that first meeting, all of whom are now enjoying their eternal reward, face to face with their Lord. It is a joy for me to wish a Happy 29th Anniversary to Friends Needing Friends along with a "shout-out" to Dotti Israel Ackerman who had the courage to look beyond her own pain to help alleviate the pain of others in the same position. There are two chapters: South Jersey Chapter and Boynton Beach, Florida Chapter. They minister to widows in India, a group who are treated much like widows were in biblical times. God is using this ministry to alleviate much of their suffering and feeling of isolation and despair. It is fitting that Dotti chose the following verse as the theme for the organization:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (II Corinthians 1:3-4)

God's compassion, care, and comfort are as true today as they were in ancient days. If you haven't given your life to Him, I strongly encourage making Him Lord of your life. Believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and His love for you, and experience the joy of being a daughter of God.

Message by Shari Hervold

"Through It All" by Cece Winans & Andre Crouch

"For Such A Time As This" by Wayne Watson

29th Anniversary
 Friends Needing Friends
An International Sisterhood of Widows

JOY - IT'S YOUR STRENGTH

So, a part of you is gone.  You're alone now. Your future is uncertain. You don't know where you fit - will your associations be the same now that your spouse is gone?  Your name is still Mrs. _______, but you're "single."  "Are you single?"  You really don't know! You feel alone, but you don't feel single. The joy of married life - even with all of its ups and downs is gone. Is that how you're feeling?

The Bible tells us there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. (Ecclesiastes 3:4) There are no short cuts when grieving a loss. We all must walk through the anger, denial, Isaiah 61:1-2) He seeks to bring you through the despair. He promises that "weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 3:5)  Joy will come to all who believe on His name and put their complete trust in Him. What is this "joy" that He promises and how do you lay hold of it? 

shock and emptiness of losing a spouse, but be encouraged. The Lord came to bind up the brokenhearted and comfort all who mourn.

The definition of joy is: "the passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good." It's easy to understand how joy fades when the bottom falls out, and your life is shattered by death. Where is the good to get excited about? Where is passion? Where is the joy?

Perhaps the key lies in the original text (Hebrew).  Joy means: "to rejoice, to make glad, to be joined." Someone or something is causing us to be glad; someone to whom we are joined is causing us to expect good. For Christian that Someone is the LORD. He alone is good (Mark 10:18) and the wellspring of our joy. (Romans 15:13)

As we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, He is with us (Psalm 23:4). He is the One who brings light into our darkness. (Psalm 18:28) He turns our mourning into dancing. (Psalm 30:11)  He works all things for good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) He is a beneficent Father who loves us with an everlasting love that will not fail. (Jeremiah 31:3) Those promises, that faith in who He is, and the expectation of good things to come, all give birth to joy.  Peter says, "Even though you have not seen him you love him. Though you do not see him now, you believe in him.  You are filled with a glorious joy that can't be put into words." (l Peter l:8)

The Bible says, "joy of the LORD is your strength."  (Nehemiah 8:10) Amazingly, this verse was written when there was a severe famine in the land. Many were mortgaging their homes to buy food, others were borrowing money to pay debts; still others were

selling their sons and daughters to survive. In the midst of this despair, Nehemiah boldly proclaims this truth: "the joy of the LORD is your strength."  Joy does not depend on our circumstances. Listen to what the writer of Hebrews says about Jesus, "Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross." (Hebrews 12:2) What was Jesus facing - an excruciating unwarranted humiliating death. Yet His eyes were on the joy that He knew was ahead. The power of that joy gave Him strength to endure the pain He suffered for you and me. The joy of the Lord can be your strength too as you grieve.

If your eyes are on the unpredictable circumstances in life, joy will elude you. You may be happy for a season when things are going well, but then sink into misery when they aren't. If, however, you fix your eyes on Him and walk in oneness with Him, you will find lasting peace, rest, refuge, strength, hope, power, and yes - joy. How do you do that?

1) Meditate on His Word and His wonderful works. 

(Psalms 119:78, 97;  145:5)

2) Keep your mind renewed by the truth found there. 

(Romans 12:2)

3) Cry out to the Lord in prayer and cast your burdens on Him. 

(l Peter 5:7)

4) Trust His care for you. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

5) Walk in obedience to His Word in order to stay close to Him. 

(John 15:10)

6) Fellowship with other believers around His Word. 

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

7)  Rejoice always (Philippians 4:4)

8) Give thanks in all things. (l Thessalonians 5:18)

These last two can be tough yet God commands them. He understands that there will be times when we don't like rejoicing or giving thanks, but as with any exercise, these things are  for our good. Rejoicing in Him and giving thanks are exercises of faith and our way of saying, "Yes Lord, I believe your promises to me. I trust you. I am watching for your goodness." 

Your Heavenly Father says, "I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) Be encouraged in your grief, daughter. You have a Father who offers you: hope for every disappointment, grace for every trial, direction for every turn, an anchor for every storm, provision for every need, protection from every foe, companionship that will never be taken from you, and a love that will never fail. Hold fast to Him. Let Him fill you with everlasting joy to get through today and face tomorrow. 

Pastor Bruce Sofia

MY PRAYER FOR YOU- 

"Father, grant this dear daughter of yours a spirit of wisdom and revelation to know You better. Open the eyes of her heart that she may be enlightened to know the hope to which You have called her, the riches of her inheritances in You, and the incomparably great power. You give to her even in her weakness. May the reality of Your presence see her through the days to come and cause her cup to overflow with joy."

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Music by Lynda Randle

Trust God and His Love for You

I doubt there is a widow reading this who hasn’t found herself in a situation where she really needed the help of someone else. I’m not talking about a friendly ear to act as a sounding board, or a lunch companion ensuring that you won’t be alone in a crowd of strangers. No, I’m speaking of situations with much more import.

 It might be a decision you need to make, a dark time you’re going through or any number of things, but you know that you can’t do this alone and so you cry out to God for help.

A common tendency is to get specific with God as to whom it is that we think would be best to help us: “Oh, Lord, please let my brother agree to help me make the best choice of a new car. You know how vulnerable we women are when we walk unaccompanied into a dealership.” This might be your daily prayer for weeks and you’re beginning to get a little frustrated with God when your brother isn’t forthcoming.

Then, one night you ask the members of your Bible study group to pray for you as your car is no long longer reliable and you have to purchase a new one – a task that fills you with apprehension and dread. After the dismissal prayer a gentleman in the group approaches you and tells you that he manages a local dealership and would be happy to guide you through the process and assure that you get an honest deal. Two hours before this man wasn’t even a conscious thought in your head, and now he is just the person you need to assist you. No, he isn’t your brother, but he’s God’s choice and better suited to the task than your brother would have been.

 God has worked like this since before the beginning of time. God has mercifully provided for widows throughout history, and gives stern warnings to those who would want to defraud them. The Bible is replete with examples of His working on behalf of widows (and others), but I will share only three.

The first one that comes to mind is the widow most often referred to as the “Widow of Zarephath,” so named because that was the name of the area in which she lived. You ^th chapter of I Kings and I encourage you to read it.

talk about desperation! Because of a severe drought in the entire region, she was totally out of food except for just enough oil and flour to make bread for herself and her boy. Her prayers had run out as her food supply dwindled. She was ready to make this bread her last meal and wait for their deaths. There was another individual in dire straits, the prophet Elijah, who lived in Israel, a neighboring country. God directed him to this destitute widow from whom he asked for food. When she complied, even though it was all she had, they were both blessed with food until the drought was over. Neither of these individuals would have ever thought that they could be of help one to the other, but God did. He orchestrated their meeting and in turn used them to meet the needs of each other. This story can be found in the 17

Another widow for whom God miraculously supplied a need was Ruth. We are all somewhat familiar with her story: the devoted widow who went with her mother-in-law back to her country and ended up marrying a rich older man. But, like all stories, there’s a back-story. Ruth and Naomi were desperately poor and Ruth had to glean fields for food for them. The only way out of her poverty would be to remarry.  And, while it’s true that Boaz saw her gleaning his fields and eventually fell in love with her, he did not have first rights to marry her according to their custom. That fell to another man. Boaz knew this and went to the other man and through negotiations was able to satisfy all legal requirements freeing him to marry Ruth. Do you think it was happenstance that Ruth gleaned the fields of Boaz? He certainly wasn’t the only man with fields in that region. Do you think it was happenstance that he was attracted to Ruth and wished to marry her? Do you think it was happenstance that the relative who had right of first refusal was either too poor or didn’t want the responsibility? God was in all of this and even Naomi, who certainly would have orchestrated it if she could

have, couldn’t “pull off” what God did for this precious young widow to ensure her a means of support in her lifetime. But God didn’t stop there; through their son she was placed in the lineage of His son, Christ the Messiah. This entire story is recorded in the book of Ruth in the Old Testament and is full of all the elements of great drama. I encourage you to read it.

Even Jesus, in his hour of death, looked to the welfare of his widowed mother knowing that his death was at hand . . . and soon after his ascension into Heaven. In the 19^th chapter of the book of John we read that Jesus looked down from the cross and told his mother to look to John as a son and to John he said to look to Mary as his mother. Then the Scripture says, And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. God even looked out for the welfare of the earthly mother of His son, leaving her in the care of the gentle and beloved Apostle John.

Did you notice that none of these individuals just sat and waited for God to move on their behalf? The Widow of Zarephath did as Elijah commanded and made food and brought water to him. Ruth was busy gleaning in the fields to put food on the table for her and Naomi. She didn’t sit at home, polishing her nails and primping so she would look “just so” when God sent a husband her way. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, didn’t give up on life just because she became a widow. We know she was still active in community life, having instructed Jesus to make wine at a wedding. We know that after his ascension she was with those gathered in the upper room to await the infilling of the Holy Spirit. These were all individuals of action, though their lives and livelihood had been greatly altered.  Genesis 41:52 records the words of Joseph, after having been sold into slavery in a foreign country by his own brothers, “God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”

As widows you live in a “land of affliction” over which you have no control. But how you live is a choice you make. I encourage you to not give up on living life to the fullest, just hoping that things will get better. With God’s help, keep busy and watch God bring to fruition His plan for your wholeness. As you entrust to Him your needs, sometimes in desperation, you will be amazed at how He will work in your life, often through other people. If you reflect on your life, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to recall the helpful individuals He has led your way at just the right time and often in a manner you wouldn’t even have considered.

Jeremiah 29:11-12 says this about our Heavenly Father and His concern for us: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says the Lord, “thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and go and pray to me and I will listen to you.”  I pray that each of you will always recognize the great love your Heavenly Father has for you and will never fear entrusting every detail of your life to Him, for He truly cares for you.

                                                                           
"His Eye is on the Sparrow" by Lynda Randle
      

  He Will Carry You by Lynda Randle

Message "Trust God and His Love for You"
By Shari Hervold