Don’t Trust Yourself, There’s a Better Way

By Shari Hervold

Proverbs 3:5-6 admonishes us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” To trust in someone means to have assured reliance on their character, veracity, and strength. Here we are told to trust in the Lord whole-heartedly. Specifically, what does that look like to the widow?
   
Most widows have lost the one earthly individual they trusted enough to share their lives with, expose their emotions to, bear the children of, and to whom they have looked to for carrying out the jobs around the house requiring physical strength. In addition, for those more serious decisions, the widow was part of a team, weighing pros and cons before arriving at a decision. Now she finds herself cast in a solo role where decisions still need to be made, children may still need emotional, if not physical, support, and those jobs requiring physical strength still need to be completed. In addition, not only is the widow now alone, she is often very lonely and dealing with a myriad of emotions, often overcome with tears when she least expects them. While dealing with all of this, she is acutely aware that life must go on and she is the one to maintain control over hers. Often, not wishing to bother others in her life, she slogs along, keeping herself busy to avoid coming to terms with the void in her life…until she realizes that she has been performing empty motions.

 

 
In this scripture God invites you, precious widow, to trust in Him with the entire of your life, withholding nothing from Him. He realizes that you are a frail mortal with only a fragmentary view of your life. Your understanding is limited; His is limitless. We often harbor the misconception that if we understand, then we will have peace about a situation. So what happens when we don’t understand or perhaps even worse, we think we’ve figured something out only to realize we were mistaken? God here lets us know that our peace is contingent on Him and our trust in Him. His thoughts are far above ours. I especially love the line that invites us to acknowledge him in all our ways – yes, even those day-to-day, seemingly inconsequential decisions, hurts, disappointments –give them to God and He will direct you. God knows all about your frailties, your grief, your frustrations, even your anger, so He invites you to trust Him enough to commit your life into His keeping because of His great love for you. He doesn’t shake his finger at you to shame you for your feelings, your failings, your inadequacies and inabilities. His love for you has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. That’s why this scripture is so precious to the widow. He knows that you’ve lost your life’s partner. He understands the turmoil you feel at times, even better than you do, and wants you to trust Him to make your life secure in His love and protection. Verse six gives us the promise that when we trust in God and forsake our efforts to figure out everything for ourselves, then He will direct our paths. He’s a God who is smart enough to figure out anything; nothing confounds Him! If you are experiencing some personal pain or turmoil in your life right now, I encourage you to meditate on the words of this scripture, and rest well tonight knowing that your life is in His hands.

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Mission Statement 2015

Friends Needing Friends Mission Statement

Good morning Ladies ~ We are at the start of another new year, and it is a good time to share what this ministry is about.

"Friends Needing Friends" is a special ministry for widows only.

This ministry is a sisterhood of ladies selected by God.  I have been asked the following questions many times - "why widows only?" or "I'm divorced, why can't I come?" I will try to answer these questions as simply as I can.

When you divorce your mate, it is a human decision between two people.  The death of a mate is a decision made by God. The true reason for either loss, only God knows.

As director and founder of "FNF" I have witnessed a special compassionate bond between all the ladies.  When a newly widowed person comes to a meeting for the first time, I will introduce the widow to another widow.  Immediately, there is an expression of compassion that no other person can give nor receive.  Their eyes meet and in a single glance without saying a word, there is an exchange of understanding and full knowledge of their hurts and feelings.  These feelings are the true meaning of the word "sisterhood".

The dictionary's definition of the word "sisterhood" is: "An organization of women with a common interest, as for social, charitable, or females members of a church".

The common interest of "FNF" is from the Bible in 2 Corinthians 1:4 - God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  Our sisterhood of women is doing exactly what God has directed it to do and who better to help at this time - you guessed it - another widow.

Our sisterhood was founded in June 1988 and has physically and financially supported several other charitable organizations.

We have a Teddy Bear ministry where once again we obey God by visiting the sick and the shut-ins. Since 1995, our ladies have delivered hundreds and hundreds of Teddy Bears to the sick and have encouraged the shut-ins with God's love.

The past several months, God has led "FNF" to support a special Christian Foundation in India that supports our widow sisters who are in need of food, shelter and medicine.

As of this month (January 2015), our two ministries (N.J.& FL) have raised $1,000.00. (PTL) As the saying goes: "Side by side, or miles apart...We are sisters, connected by the heart."

Yes, we have met the dictionary’s description of the word "sisterhood" and yes our ladies have obeyed the LORD by sharing the comfort that God has given to us.

May I further explain to you that "FNF" is a ministry available to widows only; that may or may not attend a church.  There is a desperate need in our society today regarding the widows that we come in contact with.  Our group is a Christian Interdenominational ministry and we do not urge joining a different church or changing one's religion.

I hope that you will be able to attend our monthly meeting/luncheon, which is on the third Monday of each month. We look forward to seeing you there and if you can, invite or bring a widowed friend.

Meeting place:

Palm Beach National Golf & Country Club
7500 St. Andrews Rd., Lake Worth, FL. 33467

Time: 10 a.m. - 12 noon

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In June 2013, we celebrated our 25th Anniversary of FNF.

That was also the year God laid upon my heart to leave New Jersey and reside in Boynton Beach, FL to live near my son Daniel and his family.  God also led me to start another ministry  in FL, the same as FNF in New Jersey. It is now the beginning of 2015 and the ministry in Lake Worth, FL has been blessed by God.  Our Bible verses for all of our meetings is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. (NLT)

Happy 2015 ~ Dotti Ackerman

FOCUS, Before Making Decisions in the New Year

 

For this week before Christmas we have an uplifting message from Shari Hervold. May hearts be blessed and strengthened as we focus on Jesus.

  

FOCUS, Before Making Decisions in the New Year

I don't have to tell a widow reading this today that the loss of your spouse threw your whole life out of focus.  Initially, you most likely walked around in a daze, in shock and grief.  There was so much paper work to do, agencies to contact, decisions to be made, with no partner to aid in those decisions.  Some of you had help and support from children or other close family members and many decisions were made prior to death.  Still, you found yourself alone in your grief and maintaining a clear focus was most difficult for you.  You may still find it difficult to do so today, many weeks, months, or even years later.

While focusing or giving full attention to the ordinary decisions in life is important, it is even more important that you learn to turn your focus toward God before stepping out into the newness of life that God has prepared for you.  Recall with me the story of Esther from the Bible.  The Jews were set to be annihilated and Esther, as queen, was in a position to intercede to the king on their behalf.  However, before even going to the king, she asked others to pray for and with her.  Her entire focus was on God and seeing his guidance and protection.  She was wise enough to recognize that she must focus first on God before stepping out into what she had been called to do to save her people. Her beauty, her position as queen, all her charm and ability to use speech and actions to sway the king would have little effect in a crisis of this magnitude.  Esther is one of the many in the Bible who, before stepping out into the "unknown" first turned their focus on God and his leading.

As a widow, your life has been totally altered; it will never be the same.  You will be getting advice from many sources; most, if not all, well-intentioned.  I encourage you to listen well, and weigh that advice...but don't make a move until you turn your focus away from it and to God.  Why?  It is only God who has the whole picture of your life.  It is only he who can truly lead you into the path that is best for you.  When you turn your focus toward God, make sure that your attitude is one of trust in him and a willingness to obey his leading.  You can be totally secure that he has your best interest at heart. Keep in mind the words of Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
Do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
And he will show you which path to take.

As you pray,  you might want to make a list as options come to your mind.  Do so with God's pleasure in mind, not just what appeals to you.  Look over your list to see if anything on it clearly violates any principles found in God's Word.  Eliminate those; they will not be in his plan for you.  You now have a realistic picture of your options to help you make a responsible, God-honoring decision.  If the focus of your heart has been to please God, taking into account Biblical principles, along with any wise counsel you may have received, I suggest that you are ready to step out with the full confidence that God will work out his purposes through that decision.

This Christmas season is the perfect time to begin to focus on Jesus and his love for you.  The new year looms on the horizon, but with your focus on God and his will, you can face it unafraid.  Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

Shari Hervold

 

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Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Christmas meeting/luncheon FL

 

Good morning Ladies ~ Here we are the week before Christmas. I hope you are all being filled with the love, peace and joy of this holiday season.  It is all because of Jesus that we celebrate this time of year.  Let us give thanks to Him for all He has done and continues to do for each of us.  May we learn and grow in His love with each new day.

Well, we down here in sunny s.e. FL had our Christmas meeting yesterday. We had a nice turn out of 26 ladies and a good time was had by all.  We missed those who could not be with us and wish them well.

This is our lovely table setting. 

Gifts in the center.

 

Here is dear Ramona, who checks in our ladies as they come in.

At every meeting we start off with singing and clapping hands to “This is the Day”.

I couldn’t find the rendition that we sing with but here’s one that is really good, happy and thankful.

 

Next, we have Dotti, our founder and leader with some of our group. We had 26 ladies, which was a good turn out for our steadily growing group. We’re not quite three years old yet.

 

We had to improvise a place this month for our display of Teddy Bears and Bibles and this worked out nicely.  Our Teddy Bear ministry is doing really well and we are blessed by the stories shared by those who give the bears to someone.

The Bibles are given out to each lady after they have attended twice.

Kathy Caprio, pastor for our group,  was our guest speaker.  She spoke on having “True Peace in Your Life”.  That true peace is Jesus.

As Jesus fills our lives with His peace, we in turn share that peace with others.

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If any of you reading this have not yet believed in Jesus, right now is a wonderful time to ask Him to come into your life. We are all sinners and have come short of His glory.  He came as a little babe in a manger, who grew into manhood and gave His life so that we’d be free from all sin. He rose on the third day so that we’d have life with Him forever. 

As we draw closer to Christmas, let us remember to pray for those less fortunate than we are. Pray for those who are ill, who are having problems, whatever they may be. Pray that the Love and Light of God, which is Jesus will shine in hearts this Christmas season.

I will close this post with an instrumental version of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” by the National Philharmonic Orchestra, Richmond Brass, Charles Gerhardt