Finding Wholeness Again

 

The story of Naomi and Ruth is told in the book of Ruth in the Old Testament. I encourage you to sit down and read all four chapters. I want to summarize just part of it for you today.

Houston pastor, Dr. Ralph West, states that Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, was a potter, making lovely pitchers and jugs for people. He, his wife and two sons were happily living in Bethlehem until a famine struck. No one buys lovely new jugs and pitchers in a famine, so their income became as dry as the parched earth which had stopped providing food for their table. Consequently, one day Elimelech told his wife and two sons that they were going to move east to Arabia. He would rather live in Arabia than die in Bethlehem so they settled in the region of Moab where Elimelech was able to make a living for the family again.

That is until he suddenly dies leaving Naomi in a foreign country with two sons. Her boys matured into young men of marriageable age and she tells them to take wives from the girls in Moab. So, Mahlon and Kilion marry Orpah and Ruth. Here we have two Jewish boys marrying

two Arab girls. Life went along pretty well for them…until both young men died. We’re not given any details about any of these three deaths. But what we do know is that now there are three widows living in a society where males were necessary or else poverty was a certain way of life. Life expectancy in those days was only 27 years, and Naomi has now dealt with its brevity 3 times.

Unfortunately, Naomi concluded that God was against her and she developed a root of bitterness in her spirit toward God. She actually believed that God had become hostile toward her. Soon thereafter she made the pragmatic decision to return to Bethlehem because she heard that the famine was over and she felt that she would be better off there. Plus she wouldn’t have three graves to remind her of her losses. So she and her daughters-in-law set out, most likely with a caravan of travelers, on a return trip. Early on the way, she implored Orpah and Ruth to return to Moab. She knew that life as foreign women would be difficult for them and in her state of poverty, she didn’t have much to offer them. Orpah returned, but Ruth would not be dissuaded from going with her.

You widows have endured suffering and grief. Regardless of how death and its resulting grief entered your life, you found yourself much like Naomi, totally grief stricken as well as angry at God. It is very common to rail against God when life goes awry, when death visits our families and life is turned topsy-turvy. The sad part of Naomi’s story at this point is that she saw no hope for joy to ever enter her life again. When our hearts are so full of grief coupled with anger at God, we open the door to hopelessness and we become enslaved to it. Naomi was there. Yet, God was sending an answer to Naomi’s despondency long before she recognized it.

When Ruth made clear that she would not return to her birth family, she didn’t just state that she would stay with Naomi, she declared her undying love and devotion, not just to Naomi, but also to her God. Ruth’s presence in her life was pivotal in giving Naomi a purpose for living, looking beyond her own grief, and finding freedom from the hopelessness to which she was enslaved.

Ladies, most likely there is a door to wholeness and freedom that is just awaiting your opening. It may come in the form of a family member who is trying to get you out again, or a friend who keeps calling for a luncheon date, perhaps a church family who is just waiting to welcome you back, or organizations like Friends Needing Friends who walk through your grief with you. What I implore you not to do is turn down these invitations just because you “don’t feel like it.” You may never feel like it if you never take the first step to opening new doors of opportunity. Grieving is natural and right, but allowing your grief to consume you is not healthy. I’m convinced that if Ruth had not insisted on coming back with Naomi, had not pledged her

love and devotion to her, Naomi would have gone back to Bethlehem and simply wrapped her cloak of grief and bitterness tighter around herself and died an early death, bereft of friends and hope.  And God wants to do the same thing for you. Ultimately, it is God’s wholeness and the freedom that He offers that you need and I encourage you to pray the Psalmist’s prayer,  “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long, Psalm 25:5.

                                                    Message by Shari Hervold

                                               Bible teacher for Friends Needing Friends

                                                    International Widow Ministry

                                                                 

                                Music by Lynda Randle - Worship Songs                               

God's Compassion for Widows

 

 God knows that widows are in need of support and so He created a specific category for them, spoken of often in the Scriptures. Sadly, the loss of a husband in ancient Israel was often a social and economic tragedy. Whenever that occurred, the widow was left in a very vulnerable position. She became the prime target for exploitation. God knew this and He stated that He was not only the father to the orphan, but the legal defender of the widow (Psalm 68:5). We meet several widows in the New Testament. It wasn’t just chance that Anna, a widow who lived in the temple, was the first to greet our Messiah, Jesus Christ. In fact, Jesus himself protested the exploitation of widows.  “Yet, they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and then pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public. Because of this, they will be more severely punished (Mark 12:40). The early church defined the essence of true religion as demonstrating compassion to the poor and needy, and the orphans and widows are mentioned in particular. Widows have the eyes and heart of God Himself.

A New Testament widow who comes to mind is the woman who Luke refers to simply as a

widow. Since she was from Nain, she is commonly called, “The widow of Nain.” When Jesus came to the city gate of Nain, he saw the funeral procession and the immense grief that gripped the mother over the death of her only son. No one called on Jesus to raise the boy from the dead, but out of compassion Jesus walked over to the bier, took the young boy by the hand and told him to get up…and he did. This widow was undoubtedly overjoyed to have her

son restored to her. But keep in mind that her way of life was literally reversed. Without a son, she had no rights to her husband’s property and she could easily have been reduced to a social outcast in the community. Having sons was as important as having a husband in those days, especially so for a widow. Jesus’ compassion for her was such that He gave her back, not only her son, but her dignity and standing in the community. Jesus is concerned with every single detail of our lives.

 Thankfully, laws regarding women’s rights have radically changed in most parts of the world since biblical days. Yet, the broken heart, the grieved spirit, the loneliness and total

rearrangement of one’s life is still a part of a widow’s lot. Being a widow changes the way 

society views the woman as well. The oft quoted phrase, “The more things change, the more they remain the same,” is true for widowhood. Widows are still vulnerable to unscrupulous 

business proprietors, less-than-good-intentioned men, not to mention jealous and suspicious wives. Widows have to learn a new identity and are often excluded from social events because they are no longer a part of a “couple.” Many times their incomes are lessened with their husband’s death and forced frugality becomes a way of life. I’ve witnessed much of this up close through the widowhood of family members and close friends. In fact, my husband and I drove several hundred miles this past winter to spend time with a family member who is still grieving the death of her husband and learning to navigate life without her partner.

The theme verse of Friends Needing Friends is as true now as when St. Paul wrote it hundreds of years ago.

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (II Corinthians 1:3-4). 

Our compassionate heavenly Father is eager to comfort you in everything you go through. But He does so for the very reason that He wants you to then turn and comfort others. Those two words, “so that” are very important. You are now commissioned to be His hands and feet of comfort and cheer to others because of His comfort to you. Don’t limit yourself to just widows. There’s so many areas of need in our world. Your local church usually makes needs known to the congregation and regularly makes known those in the hospital or suffering in some way. Ask God how you can alleviate someone else’s pain and you’ll be

amazed at how you will notice that your own pain is decreasing.

 For 34 years this is exactly what Friends Needing Friends has been doing. That’s right. This month marks the 34^th anniversary of Friends Needing Friends  and I thank God for this great ministry to widows.

Have a blessed month as we go into the summer season.

Message by Shari Hervold

                                                          

This video "Through It All" by Andrae Crouch. 

 I don't own any rights for this song. It's for entertainment and worship purpose only.

                                                                                                

Honoring a Mother Whose Life Exemplified Christ

(Mama) Eunice Brown)

It’s the month of May and in America it’s the month in which we set aside a day to honor our
mothers. So, this month I decided to honor my own mother, a woman about whom I’ve spoken on a number of occasions, but never on this site.

 It’s difficult to cull through one’s memories and choose just one or two memories to share. I’ve chosen one that reflects my mother’s devotion to and trust in God in spite of deep grief and heartache.

 I was in middle school which had just closed for the summer recess a few weeks earlier. On this particular morning my younger sisters and I, along with our brother Philip who had just turned six the previous month, decided to stroll down our country road to a little bridge not far from our house. There Philip decided to amuse himself by picking up twigs and throwing them over the side of the bridge into the water, then darting to the other side to watch them wash through. About five minutes into his childish play, we heard a car approaching, a rare occurrence for this time of day. Phil had just started to retrace his steps when the speeding car struck him, catching his head in the headlight. Several yards from the initial impact the teen driver stopped, the jolt of which dislodged Phil’s head from the headlight and threw his badly traumatized and unconscious body to the side of the road. My sisters ran home to get our mother and I ran to a neighbor’s house to call for an ambulance. Within a few minutes I observed as she hovered over the broken body of her baby boy praying. At the hospital, a veteran reporter from a neighboring city reported that she was the calmest woman under the circumstances he had ever observed.

 Later that afternoon she returned from her vigil at the local hospital to check on her children and refresh herself. Mother went into her bedroom and I could hear her praying. My mother’s prayers were a daily occurrence, but because I longed for physical proximity to her, I sat on the hallway steps outside of the master bedroom. Her prayer went something like this, 

“Lord, you gave Phil to us and we gave him back to you. We’d like to keep him a little longer, but if you want to take him home, I surrender him to you.” 

That was it, very calm, very matter-of-fact and not overly emotional. It was just a simple prayer of relinquishment to a loving Heavenly Father in whom she had complete trust and faith. In less than 24 hours, Phil was dead. I never once heard my mother question God as her faith was as absolute in the face of tragedy as it was when one of her children was receiving an award. Her faith was rewarded and her eight surviving children all served God, several in full time ministry, in part to the unswerving faith they observed in their mother, as well as their father.

 My mother outlived my Dad, her sweetheart and companion, by 15 years so she was acquainted with widowhood. She filled her days with prayer and ministry to others. Well into her eighties she taught a Bible class to young couples at her church and they adored her. She regularly visited and ministered Christ’s love to residents of a nursing home, many of whom were younger than she, a fact she found amusing as she would recall her day to one of her children saying, “I went to the Old Folks Home.”

 Mother died the way she lived, quietly without earthly fanfare, while sleeping. She gave two deep sighs and was in the presence of Jesus, her Lord and Savior. Thank you “Mama” for demonstrating a

The Eunice Brown Home 
for Children

faith that didn’t buckle when tried in the crucibles of life. To honor our mother, we surviving children established a children’s home, The Eunice Brown Home for Children, in Ukraine, in cooperation with a strong Christian community there with whom our oldest brother ministered. Mother didn’t know it, but she’s going to be having children until Christ returns. Her tombstone, which she shares with our Dad, says it all, “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.” 

 Ladies, if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior, I implore you to take that step of asking Him into your life so that you too can say as the Apostle Paul first stated, “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.” 

That is the best Mother’s Day gift you can give yourself and your children. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you. 

Message by Shari Hervold (left) 
and (Mama)  Eunice Brown (Right)

 

This video is "I Will Serve Thee" by the Maranatha! Singers. 

 I don't own any rights for this song. It's for entertainment and worship purpose only.

 

 

 

 

You Were Called for Just This Time

Happy first full month of Spring with new life bursting out all around us! It is also the month in
which we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. It’s truly a wonderful time of the year.

I am reminded of the story in the Old Testament that relays a time when the Jewish nation was targeted for death and destruction. Queen Esther, wife of the Persian king, a very powerful empire at that time in history, played a pivotal role in saving the nation, preserving it for God’s purposes. Esther’s cousin had learned of a plot to annihilate the Jews and he asked Esther to go plead the cause of her people to the King. This presented a big problem for Esther as the King hadn’t requested an audience with her in over a month. If an individual went into the presence of the king uninvited and he didn’t raise his scepter, death would result. There were no exceptions, so Esther knew the stakes. History tells us that her husband was a man with an uncontrolled temper, quick to get

fiercely angry. She was a powerless pawn in his hands, wearing beautiful clothes, eating the best of foods and living in a castle, but not much better off than a slave. And her cousin had asked her to plead for her people to this man. She wasn’t just making up an excuse when she expressed her concern about approaching the King to Mordecai, her cousin. When she seemed to vacillate, her cousin reminded her that perhaps this was the very reason she was the queen in the first place. After fasting and prayer, she went into the King’s court, he raised his scepter, giving her an audience and ultimately the Jews were saved. (The entire story is in the book of Esther. It’s an exciting read.)                                                                                          

You have experienced moments in your life that have left you feeling much like Esther did upon receiving this news. She certainly wasn’t eager to go to the King uninvited, yet she was heartsick at the news she had just received and recognized that it was not information she could just tuck away in her memory bank and hope for the best. The death of your spouse was such a moment. Your life was forever changed. We call these moments “defining moments” in our lives where we are irrevocably changed. Did you know that God’s plan for your life didn’t change when your husband died, and you were forced to accept “widow” as a title? Your whole life had been a preparation for that moment, just as Esther’s life as an orphan living as a minority in a foreign country had prepared her for the difficult times she would face as a queen. You, too, might feel inadequate, unworthy, or even incapable of making a difference, thinking of yourself as “just a widow.” But let me remind you that you and your life are important to God. He has uniquely prepared you to do what only you can do to bring honor to His name. The places that we find ourselves in this life are not about us, but rather about Him and the bigger plans He has for our lives. Not bigger in the sense of

importance as the world sees things, but important to God. Did you notice the first thing that Esther did after making her decision to go to the King? She asked others to fast and pray for her and she did the same. Seeking God and his guidance and protection in our lives is valuable whether we’re facing a life-or-death situation or not. Keep your eyes fixed on the Lord and He will not fail you nor leave you to struggle on your own.                                                                                                                   

Now that you are walking life solo, you have the ability to do things you might not have been able to before. Think of the talents and abilities you have, perhaps the extra time you have, the neighborhood in which you live, your family members, especially those precious grandchildren, and ask God to direct your life as to how you can best impact those in your sphere for His kingdom. That’s what God is so good at, turning those painful times and situations in our lives around for a greater purpose than we ever thought possible.

I think of you ladies who are attending a Friends Needing Friends chapter, whether in New Jersey or Florida. Through your attendance you are able to offer camaraderie and support to other widows. In addition, you bring your creativity and talents through various means to the meetings. Some help out with the technology and others with photography. Just your presence speaks of your willingness to get past your own needs and be with other women, who like you, have turned a defining moment in your lives into a blessing to others. God is as interested in you as He was with those Jews thousands of years ago. He hasn’t left you to muddle through widowhood alone and promises to be with you every moment. God promised never to leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

Message by Shari Hervold

                                                 Music by Wayne Watson