Friends Needing Friends: Happy Grandparents Day!

Dr. Josh Mulvihill in his book, Grand Parenting states that there are four categories of grandparents:

Encouraging Voice – Sees the positives and strives to bring out the potential in their grandchildren. Has a tendency to ask questions and listen.
Supportive Partner – Agreeable who reinforces their children’s parenting practices and philosophies without interfering.
Loving Friend – A companion whose focus is building a strong relationship with grandchildren and having fun together.
Disciple Maker – A mentor who intentionally attempts to pass faith in Christ to future generations. Seeks to live as a Christ-like example and share godly wisdom with grandchildren.

I don’t know which one of these categories you most strongly identify with. Regardless of how you interact with your grandchildren, there is one thing

I can guarantee you, you do have influence on them, whether good or bad. In fact, according to recent data, grandparents are second to parents in exercising influence on the child and this is carried over to the teen-age years when it is easy to think that peers would supplant both parents and grandparents. But, that is not the case. As widows, most of you are also grandmothers. As you have already learned, the hospital doesn’t send you home with a guidebook on being a good grandmother. So how do we get on with our grandmothering?

Paul, in speaking of Timothy’s faith says this: It was a “sincere faith which first dwelt in his grandmother, Lois,” (2 Timothy 1:5). Here was a godly woman who had invested her faith wisely, first in her daughter Eunice and then her grandson Timothy. But, that doesn’t give us any guidelines to follow to help us. It is the book of Titus in which Paul gives specific instructions to the older women. Now, that caught my attention as that means most of them were grandmothers. These are the three instructions he lays out:

Be reverent in behavior I usually think of reverence in relationship to prayer or worship. But here we’re told to be reverent in behavior. How we live, ladies, reveals how we worship. This kind of grandmother lives with an awe for all of God’s creation: the clouds, the stars, the various birds in the area, pointing them out to her grands and teaching them to pop that first juicy strawberry of the season into their mouths with gratefulness to God. The wildflower picked by that precious grand should be treated with respect and placed in a choice vase…never an old jar. And this grandmother loves to laugh, sing and have fun and join in games. She is sensitive to each family member, treating each with respect because she knows they’re a divine gift.
Teach what is good This grandmother is always looking for a teachable moment whether it’s riding in the car, standing at the sink, eating a pretend cookie or lying on the grass observing God’s big sky. It doesn’t take big chunks of time to pass on small fragments of God’s truths, wisdom and love. You also teach by the example you set: the television programs you watch, how you react to disappointment, the pretty table you set, the fun things you have to do at your house, your faithful reading of the Bible and attendance at church, to name a few.
Encourage to love My six-year-old grandson and I play a guessing game. Almost every time we’re together I say, “Next to mommie and daddy and God, who loves you the most? Or I might say after bringing him a small gift, “Why do you think I did that?” He’s wise to me now and will respond, “Because you love me.” I encourage him to love his parents when he sees that I do and when I compliment and encourage them. Giving my grand attention is a form of love, letting him tell me about his day, listening to his silly jokes, and even assisting with homework when appropriate.

That’s it. Just three ground rules in God’s guidebook for grandmothers. But I think you can see how important they are to our leaving a godly heritage for our grandchildren. We have a most important role in the life of our grands, and with God’s help they, like Timothy of old, will have a sincere faith in Christ.

Hi, my name is Valbjorn, I'm the one in the center and I am 6 years old. I am named after my Bestefar's dad. Behind me is my Bestefar and my Mormor. Mormor is the one who wrote the above message and her name is Shari Hervold.